The death card in Tarot rarely refers to physical death. It generally refers to an extreme change in life circumstances. I did not draw this card, but the reader will soon see why I used it to illustrate my circumstances.
I had something terrible happen last night. I literally fell asleep at work, not just dozed off but fell sound asleep. I woke up to see the father of my patient in the room. Understandably, he was angry with me, but he said that he wouldn't tell the agency. However, when I called them to find out about changing cases, I was told that I'll need to come in tomorrow to talk to the clinician on the case. To me, that sounds a lot like fired. I'm considering doing a pre-emptive strike and telling them that I'm quitting.
That's the way this agency works. They work their people into the ground, and then when something like this happens, they fire them. An excellent nurse that I worked with, one who did ventilator cases, got fired for the same thing. They were having her work 60 hours a week all the time, and she fell asleep. The family told the agency, and she was fired.
I'm working for a second agency and could probably go full time with them, although it's a $2 per hour cut in pay. Still, better than nothing. I'm feeling like maybe I should just go to work for them.
I've also got my foot in the door with a company that works with retired uranium workers and miners who have lung problems. They pay more hourly. Perhaps I will pursue this option.
I got one of those online card readings, but I'm the one interpreting it. It only involves the two pediatric home care agencies I work with.
The top left card represents the first possible outcome. (going with the second company)
The Magician: Mastery over word, mind, and matter. The ability to turn ideas into actions, handle problems, and control one's life. The initiation of new projects, great works, or a new way of life. Eloquent and moving communication. Arcane and eldritch technologies.
The top right card represents the second possible outcome. (staying with the first company, provided I'm not fired)
Six of Wands (Victory): A sense of honor and satisfaction at the resolution of an important matter. Triumph after great struggle. Jubilation at the hearing of good news. The realization of hopes and desires.
The middle left card represents the force drawing you towards the first possible outcome.
Queen of Cups, when reversed: The dark essence of water, such as a deep and foreboding lake: Discomfort with the worlds of mind and matter, leading to a retreat to the spiritual. The embrace of negative relationships, driven by the desperate fear of being alone. Devotion to fantasies and daydreams, to the exclusion of practical skills or the pursuit of knowledge. Insecurity leading to dishonor, vice, and undue susceptibility to outside influences.
(With the first company, they claimed flexibility with the schedule, but I've never seen that. My writing has definitely been suffering, which is, I suppose, the devotion to fantasies and daydreams. Perhaps it's my Achilles heel. Impractical people do not do well in this world.)
The middle right card represents the force drawing you towards the second possible outcome. King of Wands, when reversed: The dark essence of fire behaving as air, such as lightning: An exciting and reckless leader who inspires others to irresponsible acts. An artist whose depraved love of chaos causes him to take hold of destructive ideas and make them appealing to the masses. One who is charismatic and intimidating, using demonstrations of his own skill to dupe others into accepting responsibilities beyond their ability. A dashing and magnetic personality, appearing and disappearing with great suddenness, and leaving upheaval in his wake.
(This honestly sounds a lot like my coordinator at the agency I currently work with. I don't know about any artistic tendencies on his part, but he is a charismatic and intimidating person who pushes people into taking on too much responsibility. He's ex-military and doesn't mind throwing his weight around. When I was thinking about quitting to go work for the agency that works with retired nuclear power workers and miners, he railroaded me into staying with the current company, including doing things like calling me outside work hours to tell me how much I was inconveniencing him by looking for other jobs.)
The bottom card represents the critical factor that decides what will come to pass. Seven of Wands (Valor): Standing courageously for your beliefs in the face of adversity. Fear of failure overcome by the will to succeed. Great obstacles met with heroism and determination. Inner strength brought to bear at a critical moment.
(I intend to stand up for myself. If they say that I'm fired, I'm not going to beg for my job back or throw a fit. I'll politely thank them for their time and walk out of there with dignity.)
If anyone has any other thoughts on the reading, feel free to tell me. I hate doing readings for myself because I tend to be blinded by my own embroilment in the situation.
This may be one of those blessings in disguise, but right now it's hard to see it that way. If nothing else, I can always go to work driving for Uber Eats and this contract company called Roadie which delivers parcels. It would be a cut in pay, but I'd never again have to worry about letting anyone down if I were too sick or tired to work.
Of course there's always the damn insurance problem.
Cie
Who has either been blessed with backhanded good luck or cursed with bad
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