Here's how to reduce your stress levels immediately:
Stop believing bullshit like this or caring what assholes like Bob think
By the way, my name for this photo is "Fuck You Bob Harper."
1. Bitch, I drink water all the time, when I want to drink water. Anyone who says "no excuses" to me is looking for a punch in the face.
2. I'll drink whatever I want. Sometimes it has calories, sometimes not.
3. Well, Bob, regardless of what I've eaten, you make me grouchy, but you also ruins my appetite. So, I suppose if one wants to restrict their food intake, seeing Bob will help you do that.
4. Whatever, Bob. I often eat whole grains, but sometimes what I eat is refined. It's none of your damn business.
5. And poop your brains out
6. Nice classism there, Buttface. Some people can't afford to buy teh fresh froots and veggiez.
7. BITE ME!
8. Yeah, I do that. First, because I don't want to eat things containing MSG. Second, because I'm diabetic and I want to use my carb allotment semi-wisely. I'm not going to risk blurred vision and wanting to sleep all day on drinking a Coke when I don't like Coke that much.
9. I will eat what I want to eat and how much of it I want until I am satisfied. Go away.
10. If it tastes better with a little added sweetener, add it.
11. I will eat whatever potatoes I want, white potatoes included.
12. I generally do, not that it's any of your business.
13. Why don't I get rid of you and others who think like you instead? It would make me happier.
14. If you eat breakfast, that's a real breakfast. If you didn't eat breakfast, that's none of my business or Bob's either.
15. I make my own food when I can. When I can't, I don't.
16. Different people have different needs. A low sodium diet is not appropriate for everybody. If Bob is your nutritionist--well, honestly, I suggest finding another nutritionist.
17. Eat the vegetables you like. Don't eat the ones you don't like. Your dietary choices are none of Bob's business.
18. What the ever loving fuckity fuck? If I go to bed hungry, all I think about is eating, and then I--get ready for this--DO NOT SLEEP WELL! What the hell kind of horseshit suggestion is this?
19. Well, that couldn't be more nebulous if it tried. What the exact fuck do you mean by "sleep right?" Here's a story that's sad but true. I have problems with sleep paralysis. It tends to be more likely to happen if I sleep on my back. I fell asleep on my back and had an episode of sleep paralysis. My son had to wake me up twice. I guess I wasn't sleeping right, and I should be punished for that.
20. Oh, hey, there's a great idea. Let's promote disordered eating by encouraging people to engage in a deprivation/binge cycle. That's called "bulimia", Bob. It isn't healthy. Moron.
Here's my addition to the list.
21. Don't listen to jerks like Bob. You will be far happier.
Another wise soul had a suggestion for being thin: be born with DNA that prompts you to have a thin body type. That one works every time.
~The Cheese Hath Grated It~
