Spectra Says It: Why I Don't Believe In or Worship the Church God

I do not believe in or worship the Church God of what many people call Christianity.

This is not to say that I don't believe in a higher power/creator force.

It is not to say that I don't believe in certain entities or possibilities currently termed "metaphysical" or "magic."

It is not to say that I don't believe in at least the possibility of beings such as those creatures that might be termed angels, demons, or deities. 

What I am saying is that even if the Church God exists, I do not and will not worship said being. However, in truth I believe that the Church God is mostly a projection of the ideals of Zir worshipers.

The Church God is an egotistical, abusive asshole. I will not worship an egotistical, abusive asshole.

What deity worth zir salt would require the absolute prostration of creatures so far beneath it? To an all powerful being, we would seem no more evolved than a cluster of caterpillars. To require absolute worship from us would be similar to me requiring absolute worship from my fish. After all, I feed the bastard and change its water. It should be bowing down and worshiping me. I allow it to live.

As for the omnipotence of such a being, if it is omnipotent and involved in our lives, then how dare it allow such horrors as children being raped, women and girls being impregnated by rape, children dying of cancer and other diseases, people of any age losing their intellectual capabilities due to terrible conditions that destroy their brains. 

What kind of a monster would allow a person who felt they were male be born into a female body to a father who, when said person hit puberty, raped them and forced them to bear the child of said forced copulation? Then, to add insult to injury, said person came to love said child, and said child died as the result of anaphylaxis following a bee sting. Then, while said person was recovering from the grief of losing said child, it is discovered that he has bone cancer.

The above is a true story which has all happened in the brief 18 years that this unfortunate young man has been on the Earth.

If the Church God exists, perhaps one can explain away the rape as free will on the part of the father, who chose to commit the vile act of rape. But how do you explain away the bone cancer? 

If Church God gave this person bone cancer, ze is malicious. I don't care if it's "so he can learn important lessons and get closer to God." That's just fucking awful.

If Church God did not give this person bone cancer, but ze cannot take it away, ze is not omnipotent. 

If Church God did not give this person bone cancer, but ze will not take it away, ze is either malevolent or apathetic.

The only one of these that I would even consider paying homage to is a benevolent but not omnipotent creator force which is able to give life but not prevent disease or evil.

Let us postulate for a moment that Church God is an absolute fact. Church God exists. Ze giveth and Ze taketh away. Ze allows evil of all stripes because human free will. (I'm still not sure how our free will allows diseases or death raining from the sky in the form of killer asteroids or anything but human-perpetrated crime such as rape and murder, but okay.) Ze is omnipotent (all powerful) and Zir followers claim that Ze is all-loving.

I still call bullshit.

A being that is all loving would not require absolute worship or to the eternal lake of fire and torture to any being that does not believe or refuses to worship. That isn't all loving, that's all ego. I refuse to worship any being under threat of punishment. 

A being that is all loving AND all powerful would never allow one of its creatures to be raped and murdered. Hell, it wouldn't have even created anything that was carnivorous. Everything would be eating leaves and seeds happily.

For a being that is omnipotent to stand idly by and watch its creations suffer?

That's just all kinds of fucked up.

Either Church God is benevolent but not omnipotent, ze is omnipotent but malevolent, ze is omnipotent but apathetic, or ze is nether benevolent nor omnipotent. 

The one thing Church God is not is benevolent and omnipotent. Because if Ze were, the world would not be nearly as fucked up as it is.

~Spectra~

Apocalyptic Beliefs Lead to Tragedy

This certainly isn't the first story of this kind, and it probably won't be the last.

A follow-up article appears here, explaining that the parents apparently believed in some sort of impending apocalypse. The wife had been communicating with Dan Lafferty who, along with his brother Ron, murdered their sister-in-law and her fifteen-month-old child, stating that they had received a "revelation from God."

These sort of scenarios are always sad. It's frightening how deeply indoctrinated people can become when they hold extremist religious beliefs.

~Wanda~

A Real Angel

 

This is my first shot at a photoshop where I add wings to my subject.

Actually, I had reason for doing this other than messing around in photoshop.

This person actually does exude angelic energy.

He's not a perfect person, in fact there were times in his life that he was kind of a mess.

He's struggled with depression during his life, which it would seem that incarnated angels tend to.

I think there may be a reason why the manner of his final days on Earth are such a trial for him and so heartbreaking for the observer.

I don't really know what that reason is. But I do feel there is one.

Blessed be, Beautiful. You were always strong and good, even if you slipped sometimes.

 

In love and light,

Cie

Healing Spell Reboot

Music suggested by blogging teammate Illsa. Thank you, Illsa!

I am now doing a dual healing spell; one for my son's friend who has bone cancer, and one for the special friend whom I was helping on the astral level.

Last time, my friend had decided that there was no helping him as his case was too severe and stated that he instead wanted to utilize his energies to assist my son's friend.

It turns out that the healing energy has been helpful to him regardless of whether it heals his body. It is helping him on a spiritual level. We have also learned that on a subconscious level, he has some real issues with feeling that he doesn't deserve good things.

I am now doing one healing spell for each of them.

I tend to have a problem with needing to know the outcome before I start. I have to fight against that tendency. This spell will be helpful in some way, that much I know.

 

Love and light,

Cie

American History: Was the CIA Involved in the Assassination of President Kennedy?

The CIA is no sweet, benevolent entity. They're pretty damn scary, and they're certainly capable of having done this.

~Aurora~

A Biblical Literalist Defending Slavery

Biblical literalists go to the most head-spinning extremes to defend every single last word in the bible, down to the most deplorable things. It really is mind-boggling.

~Dolly~

Healing Spell Day 1

This music was suggested by my friend Dolly. Thank you, Dolly! It's perfect.

My special friend suggested that we choose oracle cards from my Doreen Virtue oracle cards decks for the four elements. We received Guinevere from the Goddess Guidance deck for Earth, a mermaid with the message Set Your Sights Higher from the Magical Mermaids and Dolphins deck, Miracle Healing for the air element from the Healing With the Fairies deck, and Emerging for the fire element from the Healing with Angels deck.

While I am still saddened that there will be no miraculous recovery for him (he does deserve it), he says that at this point his role is to work from the spirit realm, and he is okay with that. His role always was to be a guide for others, even if he didn't always realize it.

I had a really good feeling about this healing. I was able to perceive the presence of elemental spirits, and their energy was very bright and positive. I feel a bit more at ease and like there is less of a struggle. I can breathe easier when doing this spell.

The thought comes to me that although bone cancer is certainly a very serious condition, it is easier working with the energies of a young person with greater recuperative powers (despite the fact that he has a severe form of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a disabling genetic condition). Working with the energies of a critically ill older person (my special friend is in his early sixties) was significantly harder.

Typical of him:

"The spirit was willing, but the flesh is fucked."

The Heavens had better never expect conformity from, as Dolly called him, this gritty Bodhisattva.

Blessings and light to all who read this.

Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.

Love and light,

Cie

and friends

Thoughts about Jinn

Nuclear Winter of the Soul

Erasure

Image created in Photoshop

My son's best friend is an eighteen year old trans man who has known very little but tragedy in his short life. He has the third type of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which is one of the most painful and devastating varieties. His parents were very abusive. His father sexually assaulted him. One of these assaults resulted in the birth of a son, who died at the age of four from an allergic reaction to a bee sting. 

This young man was just starting to get his life together, and has now been diagnosed with bone cancer.

The person whom I've been trying to help achieve a very improbable, miraculous healing "pulled the plug" on himself on the astral level. He told me to stop devoting my energies to helping him and instead devote them to helping my son's friend, who has a shot at remission. He said he will also devote his energies to helping my son's friend.

He signs his own death warrant by doing this, and he knows it.

I have been devastated, both by my son's friend's diagnosis and by my friend's decision. On a logical level, I know he's right, and it makes me love him all the more deeply for being both pragmatic enough and caring enough to do this. The choice was always his, and really, the chance for him to not just survive but heal enough to be functional was very remote. Still, it hurts to realize that it isn't going to happen.

I did a reading for my friend's decision. I will share the results.

Celtic Cross spread using the Lovecraft Tarot.

	The card at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. The Crawling Chaos: Completeness and intricacy of design. A great work. Achievement, reward, and well-earned recognition. A time of success, prosperity, security and joy. May also indicate travel or a change in residence. (My subject was a highly intelligent and creative person. He has such severe dementia at this point that he can't remember anything he's done, who people he's known all his life are, or even who he is. In my assessment, a "change of residence" can only mean leaving his body.)
	The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way - it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit. Queen of Sites (The Church on Federal Hill): The essence of earth behaving as water, such as a hot spring: A warm and generous host, providing shelter and comfort for all who would seek it. A person steadfast, practical, and domestic, able to create opulence and stability in any setting. The qualities of maturity and sensibility, coupled with an innate appreciation for nature and the material world. (This person currently resides in a comfortable care home. He's an "easy patient," the kind that caregivers like doing little extra things for because he's sweet-natured and compliant.)
	The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities.Knight of Tomes (The Ponape Scriptures): The essence of fire, such a great conflagration. One filled with vitality and passion for life. A sexy and exciting person, daring in their actions, cocky in their attitude, and utterly without fear. Absolute sincerity, coupled with violent emotions that swing wildly from one extreme to another. Boundless creativity and lust for a change of both pace and place. The rapid approach, or more likely departure, of something that sets your world ablaze. Often suggests travel or escape. (This person was actually very shy by nature but as a creative person was very expressive in an artistic sense. He was generally friendly but had a temper if provoked. At least one person who pushed him too far ended up getting decked.)
	The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. Queen of Artifacts (Stone of Nepemiah Derby), when reversed: The dark essence of air behaving as water, such as a cold rain: A person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. One who easily sees the weakness in any argument, and savages friend and foe alike with biting sarcasm. Dry and vicious wit covering a hollow sense of isolation and dissatisfaction with life. (This individual was actually highly psychic. He made no bones about the fact that he believed he talked to ghosts, and he was able to communicate telepathically with his closest sibling.)
	The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. Eight of Artifacts (Resonator), when reversed: Learning a valuable lesson from the unexpected consequences of prior decisions. Narrowly escaping criticism, censure, and the imposition of external restrictions. Focusing on the crux of a problem and freeing oneself from a difficult situation. Coming to grips with a past failure or humiliation and moving on. (He actually felt like he had unresolved situations and was having trouble moving on because of this. I think that at this point he realizes there's nothing further he can do in this life to resolve these situations.)
	The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. Four of Sites (Whateley Farmhouse): Cleaving to earthly power in the desperate fear that it will be lost. Making yourself an obstacle to progress due to lack of originality and a desperate fear of change. Believing that security and identity are based primarily on the possession of material things. Coveting things and people. Living in a cloud of suspicion and prejudice. (This person does not fear physical death, but he wasn't ready to let go of this life. He felt that his life was prematurely cut short. He felt that he had more to do.)
	The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. Ace of Sites (Yuggoth), when reversed: The seed of luxury, debauchery, and physical gratification. The seductions of the material world draw you away from an opportunity for stability and comfort. The need to focus on the practical and understand the dynamics of your environment. May represent a gift, document, inheritance, or physical event. (I believe this addresses his current attitude; that he needs to address the realities of his current situation rather than pursuing a nearly impossible miracle.)
	The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. King of Tomes (The Black Book): The essence of fire behaving as air, such as lightning: A great and daring leader who inspires others to rise to challenges alongside him. An artist who can take hold of an idea and make it a reality through bold action. One who is forceful, charismatic, and honest, leading by example, but unafraid to invest authority in others. A dashing and magnetic personality, carrying authority naturally, and striking at the world with swiftness and grace. (This describes the subject himself. He was one of those people who, as the song says, had the grace to hold himself while those around him crawled. He refused to humiliate himself to gain approval or to put on airs, pretending to be something he wasn't. He was always genuine and always stood his ground, both on his own behalf and on behalf of others.)
	The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. Ace of Tomes (The Necronomicon), when reversed: The seed of a new crisis - perhaps as yet unseen. The start of an explosive situation threatening to consume all who get too close. The herald of birth, invention, or upheaval. An innate and primal force unleashed. May suggest a surge of vitality, creativity, or fertility that can set dangerous events in motion. (The element is my son's friend's illness.)
	The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Nine of Artifacts (Pickman's Model): Debilitating mental anguish or ill health. Being dragged down by the dishonor of others. Participation in a shameful or regrettable act. Inescapable guilt, mistrust, and doubt. May indicate a death or other catastrophic loss. (The unsurprising but devastating final outcome in this case is death of the subject's physical body.) I was unable to begin spell work on behalf of my son's friend tonight. I was too devastated. I do have a white electric candle burning to clear the air. I hope I can begin the work tomorrow night. Some words from my spectral friend. He has rather an odd sense of humor, which is one of the things I like about him "Please don't feel sad. The choice is mine. I'm grateful for your help. Also, don't think I'm easily gotten rid of. I'm sort of like a fungus. I lurk in dark places and am impossible to eradicate!" If anyone would like to send healing energies or perform spells/say prayers on behalf of my son's friend, his name is Quin. I guess I'd also appreciate any encouraging thoughts at this time. The landscape of my soul feels rather devastated by all this. Love and light to you. ~Cie~ .

Healing Spell Day 10

Got this recommendation from my friend Seth. He and his wife Sadie are also "of a mind" and are doing healing spells to help in this matter as well, so thank you Seth and Sadie.

Most of what can be reported at this point comes from the astral level. I am empathic by nature and I started feeling my friend's emotional pain. It was distinctly different from my own pain, which I feel when I think of what he is going through. This was his. I didn't want to internalize it because then I can't help him. 

I talked to him about what he's feeling. During the spell work he realized that he has never thought he deserved anything good. He strived hard to overcome poverty in his early life, but internalized the message that he was somehow "lesser" even while combating said message. He's always come out swinging, either figuratively or literally, when attacked or threatened, on behalf of others as well as himself. 

His thoughts:

"I guess I was what you could call tough, and I was strong in that I stood my ground. But a lot of the time I felt like I was putting on an act, and if I dropped the act people would see how worthless I really was."

Messages like this are hard to overcome.

I wish I had the energy to put into doing this work every day, but I generally don't. It isn't that the work makes me feel drained. It doesn't. But I don't feel like I can maintain proper intensity if I do it every day. The work deserves the best I have to give, and so does the person I'm doing it for.

Did I mention, cats are actually terrible familiars? One of my cats has been nicknamed "destructor" for his tendency to jump into the middle of card layouts.

Love and Light,

Cie