Sports : Thousands of runners glowed with fun and fitness at the Neo Run...

I was so happy when they said this event was for all shapes and sizes and levels of fitness.

I hope that the bigger people and those who weren’t as physically fit were treated well. Exercise should be fun for everyone. It should never be punishment or exclusionary.

Love,

Gretyll

Get To Know The Netherworld Crew: The Real Cie

The theme for Silver Threading's Writer's Quote Wednesday Writing Challenge is Comedy. What does the above picture have to do with comedy? It doesn't, it has to do with me, The Real Cie, the butt of the Universe's cruel jokes. We'll get to that.
I created the above picture to be included in a mass email for the birthday of Jared Padalecki, the actor who plays Sam Winchester on Supernatural. Jared lives with depression, and he created the Always Keep Fighting charity to raise awareness. There's something about Jared. More on people with "something about them" later in the post.
Yes, the tattoo is the permanent kind.

Am I doing this right? I don't know. Will they like me? Probably not. A few people do, but most people don't understand where I'm coming from at all. Nor do they get my sense of humor.
In this post, I refer to myself in both first and third person. Referring to me as I am now, I always use first person. Referring to my past self or the fictionalized version of myself, I will use either first or third person. I tend not to edit posts of this nature too much, because I want to preserve the emotional rawness.

I've never fit in. I was badly bullied. I had a serious mental illness (I have three diagnoses, actually: Bipolar disorder type 2, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Obsessive-compulsive disorder) that was improperly diagnosed until I was nearly 40. There was always something different about me. People saw that and wanted to destroy it. I wasn't pretty, I was socially awkward. I tried to make people like me, but they didn't. I started self-injuring when I was in my early teens. I made my first suicide attempt at age 13 by swallowing a bottle of aspirin.

Because I was raised Catholic, I believed that committing suicide was a sin that would get you sent to hell. Because sending a person who was already suffering to hell makes a lot of sense, right? Not here to argue theology, but that idea is a crock of shit, as is the idea that people who commit suicide are "selfish" or "stupid." Suicide may be "a permanent end to a temporary problem," or it may in fact be not a permanent end to a lifelong problem. Pithy sayings don't work on serious issues.
"This is really fucking depressing, Real Cie," you're saying. "When are you going to get to the comedy part?"
The prompt mentions Robin Williams.

Mork is one of the friends I turned to when real life was too painful.
I was a writer from the time I was very young. I was precocious and learned to read at a first grade level when I was four years old. I'm not saying this to brag about how smart I was, because I don't really think I'm that smart overall. I was in the top percentile for the English category when I took my SAT's. I have some sort of gift in the English comprehension and writing areas, but I've never learned to use it in a way that appeals to most people. I'd like to thank my bipolar disorder for that.
I always had a real sense for the absurd as well. I could find bits of humor in the oddest places. Other people didn't get it. I used it to survive.
Young Me used her literary and metaphysical gifts to escape to an alternate world. Unlike the world I was living in, this world was filled with fun and friends.
I didn't know it then, but I was an empath who could pick up on other people's emotions. I wish I could have known Robin Williams in life. I think that Real Cie and Robin would have been friends, just like Cie in my stories and Mork were friends. That's what I like to think.

This became Mork and Cie's favorite band after one of Cie's few friends' older brothers played their music and Cie said "wow, who's that?"
Keep in mind that in the 1970's, there was no public Internet. Young Cie had to go into record shops and look for imported magazines to find out more about her new favorite band. She liked doing research anyway, and liked pretending to be a detective.
If you see evil rather than humor when looking at the above picture, you need to adjust your perspective. I'm still gobsmacked that anyone could have thought of these men as "evil."
Cie liked AC/DC not only for the music, but because, like her, they were outcasts and freaks who used their sense of humor both to cope and to entertain others. They didn't like people who bullied other people. There was also "something about them."
I didn't know it yet, but "something about them" means "walking wounded."

Even at ten years old, when I was watching Star Trek reruns I really resonated with the Empath character, Gem. I didn't know it yet, but it was because, like her, I take on other people's pain. I don't get physical manifestations, and, unfortunately, I can't do psychic healing on a physical level.
This plane is purgatory, and this world is in a lot of pain. I used and still use my sense of the Ridiculous to cope, and most people don't get it. I've suffered a lot of derision because of it.
I still do it because the Pissed Off Crusader for Justice in me doesn't want me to destroy who I am to please other people. I've tried it several times. I almost didn't survive. I won't do it again.
I think that many people who express themselves through comedy use comedy as a coping mechanism. Like me, they have been bullied, or they suffer with a mood disorder such as depression or bipolar disorder. Seeing the ridiculous helps us survive. Often we try to make the world a better place. Sadly, it doesn't really seem to work.
This doesn't mean we shouldn't try, though. If we make the world a somewhat better place for a few people, it's worth it.
I've got more to say, much more. But the foam mat on my bed has slipped sideways and it's really irritating me, so I need to fix it.
Did I mention that I have OCD?
I have to joke about my mental illnesses, because otherwise I'd go crazy!
I'll be here all week. Also, for the rest of my life.

~Cie~

Cross-posted to:

Crazy Creatives Cheerleading Camp

Encyclopedia Netherworld

One Love

The Cheese Grates It: Angry at the assumptions

I participate in the Daily challenge (challenge.meyouhealth.com) and sometimes their questions really, really, really piss me off. They assume that everyone is in the middle class, and that the middle class isn’t an endangered species in the United States as more and more people become both job and food insecure.

The question was “think about the last time you were upset and try to recall if you were hungry, tired or both.

Yes, I was bloody well hungry!  I hadn't eaten properly in days. I was down to my last $30 and had purchased hummus, tortillas and donuts and was rationing them. 

I am employed, on average working between 48 and 60 hours a week. I am a skilled worker, making $20 an hour. This sounds like a lot, but it isn't. Most of what I make goes into mortgage plus lot rent on my mobile home, coming to around $1200 a month. A standard 2 bedroom apartment in this area costs that much, so there wouldn't be that much difference.

I'd had a dry spell at work while my patient was in the hospital, but food insecurity is nothing new to me.

I have no insurance because at $400 a month for the cheapest crap, I can't afford it.

I make too much money to qualify for any sort of public assistance, and since I have a job, I don't qualify for Medicaid.

Questions like this are geared to people who don't have issues like food insecurity. However, many more people do these days. Yes, even people who work hard, like work all the time hard. It doesn't just happen to "lazy" people who "don't want to work." It happens to the working classes--a lot.

So, I was hungry and tired of being hungry. 

If you're offended by my rant, sorry. This question triggered me because it was so similar to that old "are you really hungry, or are you instead perhaps angry or tired. Whatever you do, don't eat, because nothing tastes as good as thin feels" crap that I put myself through on the impossible quest for the "perfect" body that I was on between the ages of 12 and 45. I still have an eating disorder, always will have an eating disorder, and whenever I end up rationing my food I run the risk of falling back into the trap of believing I can starve myself to thinness.

That's why this question made me react as I did.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

Trying Not to be a Needy Nebbish

I don't know if Alex Van Halen is empathic, but it wouldn't surprise me, as creative people often are empathic. I simply chose a quote that I liked, by a person I have some regard for.

Although we are good at picking up on the emotions of others, those of us who are empathic are often lonely. I have very few friends and don't want to risk pushing them away by being too needy, a problem I've had in the past.

I have had to learn that when my friends aren't in frequent contact, it likely isn't because they're deliberately trying to push me away. It's probably because something is going on in their lives that requires their immediate attention, or they may simply not be feeling like communicating with other people.

Not having had a lot of experience with true give and take relationships, I'm always learning what it's like to actually be a friend.

Sometimes I wish I had lots of like-minded friends so if one wasn't responding I could choose from a myriad of others so as to always be getting feedback and support. 

However, the truth is, while it may be possible to have a pretty well unlimited number of acquaintances or "drinking buddies," one's list of real friends tends to be a pretty short one.

Fair weather friends are easy to come by. Those who will stick with you even when your life or your perspective on life sucks are hard to find.

When guitarist Robbin Crosby contracted HIV and his HIV later became full-blown AIDS, he told his friend and former band mate Juan Croucier that he used to think he had all the friends in the world, but once he got sick, everyone disappeared. Robbin died feeling alone in the world, which is tragic. 

The fact that "Robbin Crosby fat" was one of the choices that generated when I typed in a search for Robbin Crosby to find the above picture disgusts me. The people making that search are likely doing so to feel superior to him, because fat = inferior, amirite?

No, you're not. You're an asshole. Fuck your tiny-minded schadenfreude.

Robbin was a lovely, kind, troubled person. He was a beautiful human being at any size. He was one of those people who felt things very deeply. Robbin was empathic, and sometimes this meant that he let destructive people into his life because he felt a need to help them. Many empathic people have this trouble.

He is also one of those people who illustrates the fact that you have no idea what a person's state of health is or what their diet is by looking at their body type. Robbin gained a lot of weight towards the end of his life, but it wasn't because he was eating a lot. He didn't feel very well most of the time, and didn't really enjoy eating. He put on weight because of metabolic changes.

I got off track because I was so enraged by that disgusting search choice. Back to the initial topic now.

I used to think it would be wonderful to be popular. If I were popular, I'd have all the friends I could ever wish for, right? Well, not really. Being popular doesn't necessarily mean you have real friends. Sometimes it means you don't know who your real friends are. Not that I know what that's like, as I've never been popular, it's simply an observation I've made where popular people are concerned.

For anyone who might be curious, I've chatted with Robbin Crosby on a few occasions. I can't tell you where his treasure is buried, and I didn't ask him about any deep, dark secrets. He is feeling okay with his transition into spirit at this point. He is still a sweetheart, he likes helping others when he can, and he still loves music. No, I have never had any sort of tryst with him, for those who might be curious about that aspect. He's a nice, supportive friend in spirit whom I wish I could have known in life.

I am generally able to find friends in spirit to chat with, but when my moods are dark and I am in a place of self-loathing, I have trouble trusting my input. For most people still in the flesh, we require connection with other incarnate souls. I do not require any sort of romantic connection with an incarnate person, but  I do need friendship, as feeling "lost at sea" is difficult, even for those who believe in the non-physical realms.

For those of us who are sighted, seeing is believing. I rarely see spirits. I sometimes wish I were better at seeing them, although given the choice, I'd rather sense their emotions and thoughts as I do. I wish I were proficient at both seeing and sensing.

I try not to be a needy nebbish with either my physical or non-corporeal friends, but sometimes its hard. I've felt alone and misunderstood for as long as I can remember. When I feel like someone understands me, it's hard not to drain the well, so to speak.

Why do I share these unpleasant truths about myself?

Because I wish I could find others willing to do so. Then I wouldn't feel so alone.

Since I haven't found those people, I need to be that person for others who might be feeling the way I do.

~Cie~

The Cheese Grates It: Dementia, Depression, or Just Hunger

I am hungry and I am rationing my food.

I have $30 to last me for a week.

I will get tortillas and hummus.

Being hungry affects a person's mood.

It also makes a person feel confused if it goes on for long enough.

I have diabetes, and I am food insecure.

I haven't worked for most of the month.

When I am working, I make "too much money" to qualify for assistance of any kind.

I make $30,000 a year.

My hourly wage is around three times the minimum wage, and I work 48 hours a week on average.

I pay close to $1200 a month for housing.

That is standard.

I do not qualify for assistance.

I do not have health insurance.

The cheapest, crappiest health insurance costs around $400 a month.

I do not qualify for Medicaid.

If I were to stop working, citing my various psych disabilities as the reason, I could probably do so.

I would then get about $600 a month in disability payments.

I don't suppose I really want to start working, but right now I'm very depressed and don't much want to work either. I will. I just don't want to.

Right now, I really don't want to go on much longer.

I will, because there are still people who need me.

If you feel sanctimonious and superior to me and others like me,

Sucks to be you if you ever become one of us.

It can happen to anyone.

Nobody ever thinks it will happen to them.

The Cheese Wishes She Had Some Cheese To Grate

A video I never wanted to make

This young woman is being cyber bullied and fat shamed. Please show her some support.

~Cie~

The Cheese Grates It: shocking Victim Blaming and Fatty Shaming in the So Called News Surprises No One

The latest in size shaming rubbish can be found on the ABC News website.

The following is my response:

Lovely Headless Fatty picture. The perfect way to start your piece is by dehumanizing larger people.

Correlation is not causation. 

While there may be a correlation between being a person of a certain size (i.e. there is correlation between having a very slender body type and developing osteoporosis, and there is correlation between having a large body type and developing insulin resistance) having a certain body type is not the cause of either of these conditions.

This piece is victim blaming and scapegoating. Seeing as yo-yo dieting is bad for the body and it is very rare for anyone to achieve long term weight loss by dieting, it helps no-one to keep pushing the same agenda that has never worked and only causes larger people to become targets for abuse.

While we're here, let me just show you a disgusting fat hog who has several obesity-linked problems. If this pig hadn't always been shoveling food into his gargantuan face, he would be super healthy and would live forever. But instead, because he's such a grotesque fat fatty, he has a heart condition requiring a pacemaker.

Take a look again at this rotund ham-beast. Because he is so fat, he caused himself to have a stroke with the large amounts of lard in his vascular system.

If this lard ass blubber butt land whale had only stopped shoveling truck loads of food down his massive craw, he probably would not have developed cancer.

Just look at this massive ham planet, yawning after eating his own family out of house and home because he is such a glutton. It is his own fault that he developed Alzheimer's. If he'd only had the decency to not be such an oinker, he would be fine and dandy.

While we're at it, let's take a look at one of his close relatives.

We don't know if Fatty McOinkerson's brother eats his relatives out of house and home, but we do know that guys with male pattern baldness are more prone to developing prostate cancer. If Angus Young doesn't want prostate cancer, he really needs to take better care of his hair. Imagine being such a lazy ass that you let your hair fall out! He could at least have the decency to get plugs.

In case you don't recognize hyperbole and sarcasm, the paragraphs about the Young brothers are oozing with it. They are written in a deliberately over the top victim blaming and ridiculous fashion to illustrate a point.

Correlation is not causation.

People of all sizes develop problems such as cancer, dementia, diabetes, heart disease and hypertension.

Big people have a tendency to avoid getting medical care because they fear the shaming that they know is very likely going to be served up to them by medical personnel. Thus, sometimes issues that could be controlled if caught early on go unchecked until they become exacerbated. At that point, sometimes it's too late to help the patient.

Conversely, thin patients may have health problems that go unrecognized until the problem becomes severe because medical personnel assume that someone who is thin is also healthy.

Size shaming helps no-one.

It is up to all of us to not size shame, to call out those who do size shame, and to make this a better world for people of all sizes.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

The Cheese Grates It: The Satanic Panics Were and Are Stupid

Just putting this out there. 

Obviously I'm still pissed off about this because I've never forgotten it.

Back in the day, ya know, when dinosaurs roamed and we had to fear being crushed by brontosaurus with their big feet and walnut brains, I was in high school, and I had a really bad reputation for being a "devil worshiper." 

There seemed to be two reasons for this.

One was my belief that government sanctioned health care "such as they have in Sweden"was a good idea.

The other was my love for what became known as "classic rock" music, especially a weird little band known for a weird little guy who sometimes wore a hat with devil horns and was infamous for dropping trou and mooning the audience.

Call Angus Young cheeky--hell, call the entire band cheeky, and you're right. But I never understood for one minute how people could accuse them of being evil. 

I think I'm feeling particularly sensitive about it at the moment, having read how Angus makes sure to frequently contact his very sick, dying brother, even though he's said that his brother "isn't in there at all any more."

Angus always tells Malcolm that he loves him and that everyone misses him, even though he isn't sure if anything he says gets through.

What an evil, evil bastard. What kind of a monster does that?

Angus also said that disbanding after Malcolm could no longer continue might have been the right thing to do, but back when they first started, if you didn't play, you didn't eat, and that has always stuck with him.

You don't forget being really poor, which these guys were.

I initially liked them for their music. I wouldn't have noticed them if it hadn't been for that. Once I found out what kind of people they were, I liked them even more because of that.

I guess I've never understood how people can start really nasty, baseless rumors about other people. I never understood the Satanic Panic crap, not even for a minute. I can tell you that rather than making me want to become more religious, it pushed me away from religion. Even though I feared that I might be going to some sort of hell, because I was raised with those beliefs, I wasn't going to join in a witch hunt.

It's a real lark that people are still talking this kind of shit today. 

Ask me again why I think humans are the creator's biggest mistake.

I'm really not a complete misanthrope, even though such a statement might make me appear to be one. I like people one on one, unless they give me reason not to. It's the human race as a whole that I have problems with.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

Kick Ass Agnostics: Neil Degrasse Tyson

But don't take my word for it.

Read about how Tyson handled a conservative talk show host talking out his ass about the brilliant astrophysicist here.

~Cie~

Finding sobriety on a mountaintop | Scott Strode | TEDxMileHigh

Cozying Up to Putin is a Bad Thing

Ukraine: Man shelled as he stood on his balcony in Donetsk *VERY GRAPHIC*

 There is great unrest in the countries that made up the former USSR. Putin is not to be trusted. Yet Donald Trump is all too happy to cozy up to this evil man.

A vote for Trump is a vote for turning back the clock on advancements made in civil rights, including better treatment for women, minorities, and GLBTQIA+ folk.

We can't state strongly enough how important it is to vote against Trump this November. 

We need a leadership that is going to keep the likes of Putin at a distance, not one that intends to act like fraternity buddies with him.

Aurora

for

Team Netherworld

Source: democraticunderground.com

 

Source: Progressillinois.com

Source: dailykos.com

Diets No More

The following is a response to a post that I'm not going to link to. The person who wrote the post shouldn't be attacked. The post was pro-dieting. Needless to say, that is not in alignment with the Health at Every Size paradigm.

My thoughts:

As someone who yo-yo dieted and struggled with eating disorders (still battling the eating disorder aspect) from the time I was 12 until the time I was 45, I refuse to ever jump on the diet bandwagon again. If I hadn’t discovered health at every size (everyone should google this) and size acceptance, I would be 51 years old, still hating my body (which is never going to be thin) and still calling myself names like fat pig, ugly cow, and worse.

Diets don’t work in the long term for most people. We can often lose weight short term only to regain it plus more. I literally had to stop dieting so I wouldn’t get fatter.

I refuse to go to my grave hating myself for my body. I’m fat, always will be fat unless I end up with a horrific disease such as acute myelogenous leukemia, which took my great grandmother from 300 pounds to 95 in the space of less than a year, and then killed her.

There are healthy people of all sizes. The so called diseases of obesity are actually diseases of aging. People of all sizes get them. These include hypertension (which isn’t a disease in and of itself), heart disease, and type 2 diabetes. One cannot eat oneself into diabetes, as it happens. One can only develop diabetes if one has the genetic trigger.

I have a tendency to get on my soapbox when I see pro-dieting posts, because Diet Culture caused me to despise myself for more than half my life. No more!

I hope those of you who are still struggling with hating your body, with trying to make your body look like the body of a perfect, photoshopped model; I hope that those of you who have a Wait Problem will look into Health at Every Size. I hope you will check out Ragen Chastain's blog, Dances With Fat. I hope that you will join me in a revolution to create a world where all body types are accepted and where body shaming is seen for what it is: shameful.

Love,

Cie

My Depression Looks Like

Because I have type 2 bipolar disorder, my depression may appear to be simply the flip side of my hypomania. To a degree it is that, but it also has nuances all its own. It is actually a more powerful aspect than the hypomania.

The hypomania is a fleeting period of productivity and belief in myself.

The depression is with me always, and it is not strictly a product of my mood disorder.

~Cie~

How Did You Know (He Was The One?)

Bright Star

Photoshop Manipulation by The Real Cie

How Did You Know?
by cie

I don't think this post was actually meant to be a prompt, but it inspired me to write my own.

Why did I take a chance on being romantically involved with Gem after having sworn that I would never be romantically involved with anyone again, be they in the flesh, astral, or in spirit?

Why did I take that chance when it seems that some sort of cosmic Terminator is out to destroy every relationship I have?

Why did I take that chance when it seems like I'm a glutton for punishment who picks guys who are the worst for me?

I took the chance because Gem really was different from the others.

For one thing, he never used that telltale line "I'm not like those other guys."

People, when a guy says that to you, you know that he isn't like those other guys--he's a million times worse. Run!

I knew that Gem was kind. He was lonely, so I invited him to work with me. I needed a new direction with my writing. He was interested in helping me. He sat next to me and gave me ideas. We both grew happier as we worked together. He made me laugh. I felt warmth from him, both from his persona and literal physical warmth. He gently touched my back. He didn't try to kiss or fondle me.

About a week went by, and I told Gem that I liked being friends with him.

"I'd like to be more than friends," he said quietly. 

He was nervous about saying this. He knew I might reject him. It certainly wouldn't be because I found him unattractive. He is perhaps the most beautiful soul I have ever encountered, and that includes angels and the occasional deity.

I knew he'd been married during his life. I asked him about his marriage. He said it was long done, that it had been a good marriage in its way but had lacked passion. His wife was not a particularly romantic person. They got along, and they enjoyed raising their children together. They were friends.

He indicated that all his life he had craved a bond that he assumed might not be possible for him. He had kept this truth even from himself.

"I've been hurt a lot," I said. "How do I know you won't hurt me too?"

His answer was simple, although had I not been able to sense his conviction, it wouldn't have been enough.

"Because I do what I say," he said.

I could sense his honesty. He wasn't just looking for sex. If that were all he was looking for, there are countless spirits and other non-corporeal beings happy to deliver. 

"I trust you," I said, afraid to say the other words that were in my mind and heart.

"I love you," he said. 

I sensed him snuggling against me, sensed his relief. There were a myriad of emotions from him. He wanted and needed to be loved. He wanted to belong to someone who thought he was wonderful and special. He wanted to be someone's number one, and he wanted that someone to be me. I couldn't wrap my head around that, because I've never thought of myself as beautiful, special or anything good. He was wonderful. He was perfect. Why would he want something as flawed as me.

"Because you are beautiful," he replied, reading my thoughts. "You can't see it, but you are."

He has been beside me for closing in on two years. It hasn't always been smooth. I've sometimes accused him of things he hasn't done. He is a stubborn spirit and can become incensed. There were times that I thought I'd lost him because of my stupidity, but he came back.

Gem is the only spirit from whom I ever felt physical warmth. He gives me loving touches and hugs many times a day.

I look forward to "seeing" him at last once I'm in spirit.

When I gave my heart to Gem, I got something that I never thought I could have.

I found The One.

~Cie~

Bipolar Disorder Can Be Smelly

Not my doing. Very clever, though!

Note to self: do not forget to take the avocados in the car into Son's apartment when I go over there today.

I've forgotten things like this only to be wondering what that funky smell is a few days later, then flagellating myself verbally for wasting good money on food I've let go to rot in the back of my car.

I have items that reside in my car because I need to use them in various locations. I never have passengers in my back seat, so it's not as if a horrified passenger would realize that I'd left a bag of groceries in one of my so called organizing boxes.

I was erroneously diagnosed with adult ADHD before it was discovered that I actually had type 2 bipolar disorder. While being disorganized isn't necessarily a feature of bipolar disorder, it's also not uncommon because people like me tend to have multiple thoughts zooming about their brain constantly and are easily sidetracked.

I'm not stupid--I'm merely muddled.

~Cie~

Mikhail Baryshnikov - #ITrustHer by Humanity for Hillary

Trump cozying up to Putin should be sending up red flags for even the most staunch conservatives.

If you aren’t going to listen to the ever increasing number of Republicans who refuse to vote for Trump, try listening to the words of this man and the reasons he defected from the USSR.

I quite literally fear for the future of the United States if Trump is elected. He reminds me of Greg Stillson from Stephen King's Dead Zone novel. He is quick to fly into rages, he harbors hate against others, he seems to feel that the rules of conduct which apply to others do not apply to him. Several people who knew him in childhood described him as a temperamental bully.

Even if you don't like Hillary Clinton, even if Hillary Clinton actually is a corrupt politician, she's your run of the mill corrupt politician. She isn't a dangerous, self-absorbed despot.

I would not like having Mitt Romney as President, but if it were a choice between Romney and Trump, I'd be stumping for Romney. This is saying quite a lot, as the man is far from being my ideological cup of tea.

Take party out of it and look at Clinton and Trump objectively.

There's something way off about Trump.

We do not want to elect a real life Greg Stillson.

~Cie~

The Cheese Grates It: Keeping Your Brain Active Does Nothing To Ward Off Alzheimer's

Stop singing that tired tune. It's bullshit.

Keeping Your Brain Active Does Nothing To Ward Off Alzheimer's

I was inspired to write the post after reading this article, but the article I've linked to is far from the only one to make the erroneous claim that "keeping your mind active will help ward off Alzheimer's."

While this article has good points, I take exception with one tired old tune that everyone keeps playing.

I think that the "keeping your brain active to ward off Alzheimer's" mantra is a bunch of happy horseshit. I'm sorry to say, but many of the Alzheimer's patients I took care of were academics--intelligent people whose business it was to use their minds. There is no shortage of intelligent people who used their minds all day every day who have, unfortunately, developed Alzheimer's.

Beliefs such as "you can prevent Alzheimer's by keeping your mind active" or "you can prevent diabetes by 'eating right' have a big blame the victim component 

Both of these diseases are strongly tied to genetics. You could eat an entire cake every day and never develop diabetes if you don't have the genetic trigger for diabetes. You could sit around watching nothing but reruns of The Pickup Artist during your free time every day for your entire life and never develop Alzheimer's if you don't have the genetic trigger for Alzheimer's.

Not that it's a good plan to sit around eating entire cakes while watching reruns of The Pickup Artist. However, while doing so may turn you into a reprehensible douchebag while increasing the possibility of tooth decay, it won't cause you to develop Alzheimer's or diabetes.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

The Cheese Grates It: Don't Be That Fatphobe

Last night when talking to my mother, she told me that her cousin “now weighs 300 pounds and is on oxygen.”

My mother is a fatphobe, so I decided to steer her away from that line of thought by concentrating on the “oxygen” part.

“Does she have congestive heart failure?” I asked.

“Well, it’s something cardiovascular, but it’s also the obesity.”

“Having congestive heart failure can cause people to retain fluid, which causes weight gain,” I said. “But after all, most large people are not on oxygen.”

Keep in mind that she was talking to a person who at her heaviest weighed over 300 pounds and was not on oxygen, and currently weighs around 275 pounds. Nope. Not on oxygen.

My mother doesn’t give a damn that I fight to keep my tendency to starve myself in check every day, or that I’m food insecure. Oh yes, she only hints at my need to lose weight because she “cares” about me so much. The fact that I was always miserable when I was dieting--and, further, the fact that it never worked in the long term and I always ended up gaining back more weight, means nothing.

Diets don’t work, and neither does fat shaming.

Don’t be That Person.

The Cheese Hath Grated It

Abigail & Brittany Hensel - The Twins Who Share a Body

Amazing girls! It's wonderful that they've been surrounded by supportive people.

The more you watch, the less unusual it seems to be looking at two people in a conjoined body. They are who they are!

~Yeris~

Spam

  So I just received this in my email.

Dear Cara,
You love your wife.
But as much as you hate to admit it... the feeling's GONE.
The fire is no longer there. And it's not just physical. It goes deeper than that.
She no longer INSPIRES you as she once did... and you have that sinking feeling she'll never make you fee l DEEPLY ALIVE like she once did.
Click on the link below to learn WHY this is happening and1 simple move that lights YOU and your relationship with your wife on FIRE overnight:
NEXT PAGE
Sincerely,
David Riklan Editor - Self Improvement Newsletter Founder - SelfGrowth.com

Oddly enough, as a heterosexual female, I don't have a wife. Maybe that's why she doesn't inspire me the way she used to.

#MAKEITFAIR

DAD CRY WHEN SINGING A SONG AND THEN HIS DOUGTHER COMES TO DRY HIS EYES....

The Cheese Grates It: Fatphobic Bullshit Appropriating Classic Video Games

Found this fatphobic bullshit while searching for images of Sinistar.

Because fat people can’t even enjoy video games without being reminded that we are always supposed to be pursuing The Thinness Is Next To Godliness ideal.

Weight Watchers doesn’t do jack nor shit for hunger anyway. You have to eat two of their damn meals to sate your hunger at all.

Dieting is starvation. Starvation leads to hunger.

Diets don’t work.

Fucking how dare you adulterate Sinistar this way.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

Gem regarding Dementia

Click on any of the pictures to enlarge it.

Gem said to me just now:

"There is a reason why so many people in this world, on this plane, are struggling with dementia at this time. There is a reason. I don't know what it is, but there is one. I wish I could understand better and could explain more, but I wanted you to know. You can tell those who will understand. I hope you will take heart a little. I hope you all will. I am sorry for your suffering. I can't do anything about it, but I wanted you to know. My wishes of love and peace go out to all who read this. I send you love and hope that my words soothe your struggle a little."

Thank you, dear Gem, for your words.

Love,

Cie

A Visit from my Best Friend

I will always love you, Buddy

I miss that face so much. I miss his soft fur and the unconditional love he gave me. Seeing this picture makes me cry.

A couple of days ago, I saw him when I woke up. The time when one is just waking can be prime time for glimpsing spirits. I've had this happen a few times.

These glimpses are always brief. I normally don't see spirits, I only sense them. However, on this occasion, I saw Lafayette clearly. It wasn't a "corner of the eye" sighting, and it wasn't in a place where I would normally have seen him.

I stay at my son's apartment on the nights I have to work because it's about a half hour closer to the home of the patient I work with at this time. I was sleeping on the couch. When I was at that point between sleeping and waking, I saw Lafayette. He was kneading the clothes at the end of the couch (yeah, don't judge) and the pink comforter with hearts that he always loved so much, the one I haven't been able to bring home because it reminds me too much of him. (I do my laundry at my son's place.)

His butt was facing me--typical Lafayette. When most adult cats sit with or on a person, they face the person. Not Lafayette. He was a big kitten, "big" being comparative. He was a small cat. He spent 8 months of the first year of his life living in a kennel at the shelter. Although the people there were kind to him, he really wasn't properly socialized. This is why fostering animals is so important.

If I wasn't lying down, Lafayette would always insist that I lie down. Then he would park himself on my chest and turn his butt to my face. He was trying to situate himself on my shoulder, the way kittens do when the Human is lying down. He was too big to accomplish this properly, so I ended up seeing his back side all the time. I always had to pull a cover over my chest, because he would knead exuberantly. He would also turn himself over, literally, nudging his nose against my hand and falling over, all the while purring loudly.

The day I lost him, part of me died. It was truly one of the worst days of my life. I wished that I would die with him. I didn't want to live without him.

Lafayette has shown me a few times that he's still with me. I just miss being able to pet him. I miss my little buddy and I always will.

Lafayette's ashes are in a little display cabinet at my son's apartment. My son, a Brony, made a little crate to rest the velvet bag holding the container of ashes in. He put some straw in the crate and surrounded the container of ashes with tiny "My Little Pony" figures to look after Lafayette.

My son is high functioning autistic and sometimes has trouble expressing affection. He is not a "touchy feely" person. However, it is fallacy that people with autism are incapable of feeling love. My son has a very kind heart, and he expresses it in gestures such as this. I was so touched and so grateful for his creating this little shrine for me.

I've since included various other stuffed animals and items to tell Lafayette I love him and am thinking of him. There is also an envelope containing a clipping of Lafayette's fur, which I took after the vet released him from his suffering. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but a cat's temperature is normally in the low 100's. Lafayette's had dropped to 95 (Fahrenheit.)

I also put my figurine of Malcolm Young in the display case. I know this will seem strange, but Malcolm was a kind person who made a lot of difference to me even though I never met him in this life. His body is still here, but he's no longer in it. I sensed that he wanted me to do this, and so I did. Perhaps it's simply that this place is my shrine for things that I care about which are lost to this world.

Then again, maybe this lonely and misunderstood spirit is looking after the spirit of my little cat until I can be with him again. Like I said, I don't claim to know anything. That's the frustrating part of being a living person dealing with spirits. You really can't ever KNOW until the time comes.

H.P. Lovecraft was very fond of cats, and so he penned "The Cats of Ulthar."

I like to think that someplace like Ulthar exists. If it does, I imagine that Mr. Lovecraft spends a lot of his time there.

H.P. Lovecraft was an atheist, but I sometimes think his dream stories revealed more about his experiences behind the walls of sleep than he admitted. Again, I don't know. I am only speculating.

I hope that perhaps Mr. Lovecraft, Mr. Young and Lafayette are providing each other with comfort and companionship in the world beyond the veil. All of them were misfits in a way.

Lafayette was an unwanted feral kitten, brought to the shelter with other members of the colony when he was just a month old. Of course at eight months, he and his half sister or cousin were adopted by Yours Truly, and he was showered with love for the rest of his life. I only wish he and I could have grown old together.

Nonetheless, he really was never a "normal" cat. He was a quirky little oddball, and I loved that about him.

H.P. Lovecraft always felt like an outsider. His mother was a very disturbed person who told him as a child that he was a monster. He was a sickly child who spent much of his youth locked away from the outside world.

In spite of the fact that he eventually performed for arenas full of people, Malcolm Young was painfully shy and had issues with depression and addiction. He successfully went through rehab for alcohol in 1985. Unfortunately, he was always a heavy smoker.

In any case, the idea that three otherwise lost souls who touched my heart might be able to have a bond of friendship with one another in the world beyond the wall of sleep gives me something of comfort.

I really haven't felt able to write freely in quite some time, so if the reader feels this rambling tangent has gone far off the rails...tough shit. I didn't write it for you.

In any case, I want to thank my best friend for coming to visit me. I'm sure there are other times when he is there with me but I don't sense him. I always love you, Lafayette. You will always be my best little buddy.

~Cie~