Dark Night of the Soul

I am undergoing a dark night of the soul. It's rather funny some of the words my phone suggests. Dark night of the schedule anyone?
I am unable to get Wi-Fi for my tablet at this time and so am creating this post from my phone
An odious task.
I have made some fascinating discoveries. But the feeling that my heart is being squashed is a miserable one. I welcome any kind words.

Cie

My Sims

 Cie Sim feeding Lafayette Dragon. I miss Lafayette so much.

 I modeled this Sim after my son.

Gem Sim feeding Lafayette Dragon. 

I've lost them both now, as I told Gem I wanted him to go away.

Perhaps Gem is taking care of my little buddy for me.

I still love them both.

 

Deep Cuts the Knife

I ended things with Gem because my inner darkness and jealousy means that I am no good for anyone, and it is not right for me to cause him further pain. He is hurting enough as it is. I know I promised I would be his anchor. I still love him so much, but I can't do this to him any more.

I don't know what this means for Team Netherworld's story, Fetch. I'm so sorry, everyone.

~Cie~

Soul Calls

At The Beginning of the End: Version 6
Photoshop manipulation by The Real Cie

This is my final post on the Cie Loves Mal tumblr. 

I am no longer using this blog for its original purpose. I feel far too vulnerable doing so. I feel like I have revealed things that are much too personal. 

I was intending to delete the blog, however, I am leaving it here with one final post. I am creating a new blog for my artwork, stories, and personal thoughts. If you want the URL, say so in the comments. I don’t read messages.

I remember one time a blogger wondered why she had such strong emotions for James Hetfield, a person whom she has never met. Sure, she loves his music, but this emotion went far beyond the rational. As someone who has had a lot of experience with the metaphysical, I did not believe what she was feeling to be irrational, but at the time I couldn’t explain this phenomenon. I now can, and I hope to be able to save other people a lot of grief by doing so.

The information I discovered is in this post. Please read it. It will save you a lot of heartache. I wish I had known about this phenomenon when I was much younger. It would have saved me many years of pain.

The phenomenon I refer to is known as a Soul Call.

People with empathic abilities are particularly susceptible to soul calls.

The soul call explains why some people always have a tendency to find stray animals. It also explains why some people have a tendency to find wounded people whom they try to save, only to end up with a broken heart.

The soul call also explains why an otherwise rational person could feel as if she is falling in love with (for instance) James Hetfield, whom she has never met. It has nothing to do with lust or wanting to bang a rock musician for the thrill. She might not even necessarily want to have sex with him. She does, however, find herself wanting to be close to him. The desire to do so becomes all consuming.

This happens because James (or whomever) is feeling troubled about something. He may not even be consciously aware that he is particularly troubled, but his psyche is reaching out, saying “does someone have an answer for me?”

I am hoping that understanding the nature of soul calls can help quell the miserable feeling of unrequited love that all empaths feel at one time or another for a person whom they cannot possibly get close to, and whom it might not even be a good idea to get close to.

For my own part, I would have been saved 26 years of misery wherein I felt a strong pull towards someone who turned out to have both substance and sex addiction problems. This person haunted my dreams, literally. My need to find and get close to him destroyed my marriage. Fortunately, what I wanted never transpired. In fact, during my final astral encounter with him, I ended up telling him to stay away from me or I would hit him in the face with a shovel.

For the record, the person in question is not Malcolm Young.

Regarding Malcolm Young, his soul is screaming and has been for many years. I do not mean to imply that he is in a literal hell, for this is not the case. I only mean to impart that he is extremely troubled by his situation because he is sorry for hurting those who care about him and he can’t do anything about it.

I believe that what Angus said about Malcolm not being in his body at all any more is true. He is, for all intents and purposes, in spirit. The fact that his body remains in the material world is disconcerting and distressing to him.

Certainly there will be empaths who will hear this call and feel as if they are falling in love with such a spirit. However, romantic love is not what he needs or wants. Blessings, prayers, and peaceful vibrations are helpful to spirits in a situation such as Malcolm’s. Regarding Malcolm in particular, I think he would greatly welcome such assistance. 

In closing, yes, dear empathic souls, the love in your heart for the one whose soul call you are receiving is real. On closer examination, you are likely to find that it is not, in fact, romantic love. Look deeper. Ask how you can help. If you cannot sense anything concrete, simply send white light or say blessings or a prayer on behalf of the one making the soul call. Believe that it will help. It will.

I know now that I have received many soul calls over the years. I have been severely damaged by feelings of unrequited love and of loss, and it will take time for me to heal. I hope that I can save some of you the grief I have known. That is why I leave this here for you.

Peace, 

Cie

A Pool That Looks Like it Was Made by Nature | The Pool Master

The Cheese Grates It: Body vs. Soul

“Some people touch your body, some people touch your soul.” --Bruce Adler

Malcolm Young never touched my body, not even a handshake. But he touched my soul more deeply than some people whom I foolishly allowed to touch my body out of desperate need to find some semblance of love--even a perverted pretense of love--somewhere.

It makes me kind of sad when I see girls and women literally proclaiming that they’d happily “be a groupie” for (fill in the blank.)

I would never have been a groupie for anybody.

It isn’t that I have disdain for people who choose to be groupies. I admit, I did when I was younger. I thought they were cheap. Over the years I’ve come to see that such people tend to be looking for love. But you aren’t going to find love when you allow yourself to be but one of someone’s many options. 

Never let yourself be someone’s option. You’re better than that.

Beyond his early 20s, Malcolm was not one to sample from the vast pool of groupies making themselves available. I respected that. If two people are unattached and want to hook up, fine. I don’t respect the sort of fellow (or lady) who is in a committed relationship but hooks up with everything that comes along anyway. I feel bad for such a person’s partner, who is no doubt hoping that one day he will settle down and be true. My experience has shown me that such people never do.

I know sex is a big thing for a lot of people. Personally, I don’t care about it. I can only be involved with someone I care deeply about, and I’d have to trust them deeply too. I don’t trust easily.

I can’t really explain why, but this is a person who truly does touch my soul. I care deeply about him. I wish I could heal him.

Sex? Meh, I have my hand for that. What is in the heart means much more than a random meeting of genitals ever could.

Granted, not everyone is wired the way I am. That’s okay. Just so long as no one is going behind someone else’s back, I really don’t care what people do. I just got tired of being mocked because I’m not that way.

The Cheese Hath Grated It

The Wheat and the Tares Parable

My maternal grandmother and great-aunts were raised hardline baptist. Gram was a big believer in the coming of the Mark of the Beast. She had a whole book about the subject.
Unfortunately, Gram was very taken in by the likes of Oral Roberts and Jerry Fallwell. She gave a lot of money to these scammers.
After she died, I found letters she'd received from them, which made my blood boil. They said things like "Dear Mrs. Brown, it is imperative that believers such as yourself make a generous contribution so that I may continue my battle against Satan."
Sadly, Gram was very taken in by these snake oil salesmen, as were many other well-meaning people.
I may not be in agreement with the guy in this video, but at least he seems to sincerely believe what he is preaching. He isn't just trying to get money out of his viewers.

~Cie~

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