Carpe Diem Acts of Devotion: Lourdes

Copyright Dennis Jarvis

would I be washed clean

of the stain of my mistakes

if I bathed in Lourdes?

~Cie~

Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #97: Depth of a Flower

Wildflower Bouquet

I

windy weather

calling the flowers by name

each nods

windy weather
inspiring too much thinking 
melancholy thoughts

calling the flowers by name
the flowers in a graveyard
have names of the lost

each nods
no fight when the time has come
blowing away home

II

depth of a flower

flying away with the bee

some mystery

depth of a flower
what hides deep inside beauty
mystery within

flying away with the bee
nectar feeds tomorrow's child
hope for the future

some mystery
can spark curiosity
or can drive one mad

Jane & Cie

Notes:

The "sleighs" of these two Troiku were created by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016). The Six Horses of the Apocalypse escaped from my unstable stables.

Nuclear Winter of the Soul

Erasure

Image created in Photoshop

My son's best friend is an eighteen year old trans man who has known very little but tragedy in his short life. He has the third type of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which is one of the most painful and devastating varieties. His parents were very abusive. His father sexually assaulted him. One of these assaults resulted in the birth of a son, who died at the age of four from an allergic reaction to a bee sting. 

This young man was just starting to get his life together, and has now been diagnosed with bone cancer.

The person whom I've been trying to help achieve a very improbable, miraculous healing "pulled the plug" on himself on the astral level. He told me to stop devoting my energies to helping him and instead devote them to helping my son's friend, who has a shot at remission. He said he will also devote his energies to helping my son's friend.

He signs his own death warrant by doing this, and he knows it.

I have been devastated, both by my son's friend's diagnosis and by my friend's decision. On a logical level, I know he's right, and it makes me love him all the more deeply for being both pragmatic enough and caring enough to do this. The choice was always his, and really, the chance for him to not just survive but heal enough to be functional was very remote. Still, it hurts to realize that it isn't going to happen.

I did a reading for my friend's decision. I will share the results.

Celtic Cross spread using the Lovecraft Tarot.

	The card at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. The Crawling Chaos: Completeness and intricacy of design. A great work. Achievement, reward, and well-earned recognition. A time of success, prosperity, security and joy. May also indicate travel or a change in residence. (My subject was a highly intelligent and creative person. He has such severe dementia at this point that he can't remember anything he's done, who people he's known all his life are, or even who he is. In my assessment, a "change of residence" can only mean leaving his body.)
	The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way - it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit. Queen of Sites (The Church on Federal Hill): The essence of earth behaving as water, such as a hot spring: A warm and generous host, providing shelter and comfort for all who would seek it. A person steadfast, practical, and domestic, able to create opulence and stability in any setting. The qualities of maturity and sensibility, coupled with an innate appreciation for nature and the material world. (This person currently resides in a comfortable care home. He's an "easy patient," the kind that caregivers like doing little extra things for because he's sweet-natured and compliant.)
	The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities.Knight of Tomes (The Ponape Scriptures): The essence of fire, such a great conflagration. One filled with vitality and passion for life. A sexy and exciting person, daring in their actions, cocky in their attitude, and utterly without fear. Absolute sincerity, coupled with violent emotions that swing wildly from one extreme to another. Boundless creativity and lust for a change of both pace and place. The rapid approach, or more likely departure, of something that sets your world ablaze. Often suggests travel or escape. (This person was actually very shy by nature but as a creative person was very expressive in an artistic sense. He was generally friendly but had a temper if provoked. At least one person who pushed him too far ended up getting decked.)
	The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. Queen of Artifacts (Stone of Nepemiah Derby), when reversed: The dark essence of air behaving as water, such as a cold rain: A person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. One who easily sees the weakness in any argument, and savages friend and foe alike with biting sarcasm. Dry and vicious wit covering a hollow sense of isolation and dissatisfaction with life. (This individual was actually highly psychic. He made no bones about the fact that he believed he talked to ghosts, and he was able to communicate telepathically with his closest sibling.)
	The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. Eight of Artifacts (Resonator), when reversed: Learning a valuable lesson from the unexpected consequences of prior decisions. Narrowly escaping criticism, censure, and the imposition of external restrictions. Focusing on the crux of a problem and freeing oneself from a difficult situation. Coming to grips with a past failure or humiliation and moving on. (He actually felt like he had unresolved situations and was having trouble moving on because of this. I think that at this point he realizes there's nothing further he can do in this life to resolve these situations.)
	The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. Four of Sites (Whateley Farmhouse): Cleaving to earthly power in the desperate fear that it will be lost. Making yourself an obstacle to progress due to lack of originality and a desperate fear of change. Believing that security and identity are based primarily on the possession of material things. Coveting things and people. Living in a cloud of suspicion and prejudice. (This person does not fear physical death, but he wasn't ready to let go of this life. He felt that his life was prematurely cut short. He felt that he had more to do.)
	The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. Ace of Sites (Yuggoth), when reversed: The seed of luxury, debauchery, and physical gratification. The seductions of the material world draw you away from an opportunity for stability and comfort. The need to focus on the practical and understand the dynamics of your environment. May represent a gift, document, inheritance, or physical event. (I believe this addresses his current attitude; that he needs to address the realities of his current situation rather than pursuing a nearly impossible miracle.)
	The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. King of Tomes (The Black Book): The essence of fire behaving as air, such as lightning: A great and daring leader who inspires others to rise to challenges alongside him. An artist who can take hold of an idea and make it a reality through bold action. One who is forceful, charismatic, and honest, leading by example, but unafraid to invest authority in others. A dashing and magnetic personality, carrying authority naturally, and striking at the world with swiftness and grace. (This describes the subject himself. He was one of those people who, as the song says, had the grace to hold himself while those around him crawled. He refused to humiliate himself to gain approval or to put on airs, pretending to be something he wasn't. He was always genuine and always stood his ground, both on his own behalf and on behalf of others.)
	The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. Ace of Tomes (The Necronomicon), when reversed: The seed of a new crisis - perhaps as yet unseen. The start of an explosive situation threatening to consume all who get too close. The herald of birth, invention, or upheaval. An innate and primal force unleashed. May suggest a surge of vitality, creativity, or fertility that can set dangerous events in motion. (The element is my son's friend's illness.)
	The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Nine of Artifacts (Pickman's Model): Debilitating mental anguish or ill health. Being dragged down by the dishonor of others. Participation in a shameful or regrettable act. Inescapable guilt, mistrust, and doubt. May indicate a death or other catastrophic loss. (The unsurprising but devastating final outcome in this case is death of the subject's physical body.) I was unable to begin spell work on behalf of my son's friend tonight. I was too devastated. I do have a white electric candle burning to clear the air. I hope I can begin the work tomorrow night. Some words from my spectral friend. He has rather an odd sense of humor, which is one of the things I like about him "Please don't feel sad. The choice is mine. I'm grateful for your help. Also, don't think I'm easily gotten rid of. I'm sort of like a fungus. I lurk in dark places and am impossible to eradicate!" If anyone would like to send healing energies or perform spells/say prayers on behalf of my son's friend, his name is Quin. I guess I'd also appreciate any encouraging thoughts at this time. The landscape of my soul feels rather devastated by all this. Love and light to you. ~Cie~ .