30 Days of De-Objectification: Shipping

When you read a really bad RPF with no consideration for its subject(s)

30 Days of De-Objectification:

Shipping

There are but two rules of shipping fictional characters.

1)      Ship what you like, when you like, how you like

2)      Don’t be a dick

There are an ass-ton of fictional ships that I don’t like. If they are tagged correctly, it’s easy for me to “nope” myself out of those ships. So, tag your ships correctly and sail on!

Don’t like “incest” ships between fictional siblings. That’s cool. Don’t read them.

Don’t like ships where there’s a significant age gap between the two characters?

That’s understandable. Don’t read them.

Don’t like ships where there’s heavy BDSM or dubcon between the characters involved?

I don’t either. Let’s avoid those together. However, let us also not be dicks. We can let people ship their properly tagged BDSM and dubcon ships involving fictional characters in peace.

There are fictional ships that I think are foul and abusive.

Are they properly tagged?

Cool beans. I can avoid them and let the shipper of those ships ship away.

Again, there are two rules when it comes to fictional ships. Reiterated, these rules are:

1)      Ship what you like

2)      Don’t be a dick

When it comes to shipping real people?

I’m not saying: “never do it.”

I’m saying STOP AND THINK ABOUT IT.

Really think about it.

Would your writing this material and making it available for public consumption be upsetting to the people you’re shipping?

If so, doing that is a hugely dickish move.

These are not fictional characters.

They are real people with real feelings.

Some people seem to think that, just as anything goes with fictional characters, anything goes with writing about real people. That simply isn’t true.

Even back when I was a young, stupid, lonely pothead who either wanted Scotty to beam me up or Bon Scott to take me away from it all, I knew that. If I could figure that simple concept out through the misty haze and the bipolar fuckery firing off my synapses at every little thing, anybody should be able to catch on.

The guidelines for non-sexual real people fics are pretty much the same as for fictional ships of any kind, although the emphasis on not being a dick is even stronger.

If you want to write a cool, safe-for-work kind of tale about The Beatles solving the mystery of the Queen’s missing crown jewels, it’s doubtful that Paul McCartney or Ringo Starr would have a problem with that.

If you want to write about some crass sex orgy featuring said Fab Four, Paul and Ringo would probably prefer that you jump into a pond of starving piranhas and take your nasty ideas with you. If you’re a real fan of The Beatles (or whatever band you choose), you’d want to take their feelings into consideration.

If the potential subjects of explicit fiction are the kind who wouldn’t be bothered by having explicit scenarios written about them, go for it. I once stumbled across an explicit fic starring Marilyn Manson and Trent Reznor. Marilyn and Trent both seem like they’d have a pretty good sense of humor about something of this nature, and the author seemed like they genuinely liked both Marilyn and Trent and had put some thought into the work.

Sexually explicit RPF involving people who have died are always inappropriate.

Sexually explicit RPF involving real siblings are also in seriously poor taste. Why would you do that? Unless someone has come out in the press stating that they are boning their brother or doing the smoosh-smoosh with their sister, just don’t ship real siblings in anything but a platonic fashion. Would you want a bunch of idiots writing slash fics about you and your sibling? Maybe you would, but most people wouldn’t.

There are so many lovely fictional siblings you can write incestuous slash about with impunity. Don’t write incestuous slash about real siblings. It’s a real dick move, and the most important law of writing RPF is DON’T BE A DICK!

The main takeaway from this installment is DON’T BE A DICK.

Stop and think about how you’re behaving.

Would you want someone to objectify you in the same way you’re objectifying your subject?

Would your subject be upset if he or she were to read what you’ve written?

If your subject can only respond to you via a Ouija board, would his or her family be upset about what you’ve written?

When your subject is a real person, empathy is critical.

Always remember, if you feel like you really must write sexually explicit RPF and your subject isn’t the sort who would be cool with it, the Down-Low is your best friend. There’s no need to be broadcasting your questionable Fic to a broad audience, and, if you put it in the general tags for your subject, be prepared for strong backlash from protective real fans who don’t like seeing their fave reduced to being a piece of ass.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

30 Days of De-Objectification: Gay Men

Fandoms have a gay male problem, and it isn’t what you’d expect.

The problem isn’t that fans like people and characters who happen to be gay.

The problem is that said “fans” fetishize the idea of two men having sex.

Further, these “fans” go on to claim that their assertions are true, even in cases where the assertions have been denied, and they claim that anyone who does not follow the same line as thinking is “homophobic.”

Example time!

It’s fine to enjoy Yaoi anime. I’m a great fan of anime, although I’m not the sort who will win at anime trivia. No small portion of the anime I’ve enjoyed has been Yaoi.

I’m not saying it’s bad to find Yaoi erotic. However, when someone is screeching about how an anime was Teh Bestest because it was totes Teh Gayest, they aren’t appreciating the anime for an interesting story or compelling characters.

Similarly, it’s fine if someone sees a dynamic between two canonically straight, same-sex characters. Movies and television continue to have a problem with heteronormativity, and many times the canon straight relationships are, frankly, a bore. They often seem shoehorned in because you’ve got to have X number of fake sex scenes in a given season. Dullsville. I often do something else like check my email or try to bash through a bit of accounting until the fake sex scene is over.

However, it is not fine to claim that Splortgloppy (a ship between the same-sex characters Splort and Gloppy) WILL BE CANNON 3k69!!!!111!! and anyone who doesn’t agree that Splortgloppy should be CANNON is a RAGEING HOMOPHOBE!!!11!!! It is not fine to harass the show’s producers, writers, actors, and the other fans of the show.

It is also not cool to claim that Splortgloppy is Seekritly Cannon because Splort was wearing the Zoot Suit with the Trisexual Colors and Gloppy ate Triffle Truffles when ze usually eats Pansnoodles, while standing in front of a glowing sign which said Muzzleblum, but the Blum part of Muzzleblum was covered up, which means ZOMG, SPLORTGLOPPY IS TOTES CANNON 3K69!!11!!!11

Sexuality is not determined by what a person wears or eats or the music they listen to or the sign they’re standing beside. This is gross stereotyping. Also, not seeing the chemistry in a given ship does not make a person a homophobe. It just means they’re not into that ship. A person does not automatically become a raging homophobe because they aren’t on board with a certain ship.

Then there are the people who decide that nobody can have a close platonic relationship with a person of the same sex. If two people of the same sex are physically affectionate in any way, they are automatically totes banging.

I’m tolerant of a degree of Tinhatting. Some of the nicest people are Tinhats. The problem isn’t Tinhatting itself. The problem happens when people harass the objects of their Tinhat theories. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson (One Direction) have said that people harassing them about their supposed “hidden romance” harmed their real-life friendship, because they became uncomfortable being at all affectionate with one another in public. I think that’s sad. A good friend is a treasure. A person shouldn’t have to be afraid to hug on their friend without a certain fan contingent vehemently insisting that they’re totes banging said friend.

It’s worse when one member of the ship pairing is dead, particularly when they died violently. John Lennon was a real person, not just a handsome dude in a picture on an album cover. He was murdered by a deranged fan. I find shipping him with his former bandmates disrespectful and minimizing of his contributions in life and of his untimely, violent death.

I think that Angus Young has been through so much tragedy that shipping him with anyone besides his real-life wife of close to forty years is incredibly disrespectful. Angus was not in a clandestine seekrit love affair with Brian Johnson. He was not sexually involved with Bon Scott just because they had a physically affectionate relationship. He was certainly not sexually involved with his brother Malcolm, although they were completely personal-space oblivious in one another’s presence. That’s called being soul mates. Most soul mate relationships are platonic. It’s sad when people perceive any degree of physical affection as automatically meaning ZOMG, TOTES BANGING!

I have seen all the above (badly written) ships, and my reaction ranges from massive eyeroll to “what the actual fuck is wrong with you?” Usually I ignore the bullshit. There have been a couple of cases where I reported what I’d read because I felt it was slanderous. I really don’t understand how some people can be so utterly disgusting and without regard for others.

I’m not opposed to Real People Fics when they are done respectfully and when the people being depicted don’t seem to mind speculations about their relationship. Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles don’t seem bothered by the speculations. Other people may not be as comfortable with such. The wishes of the real people involved need to be respected.

I find it interesting that the people who are the most insistent that their interpretation is reality are less interested in actual gay people and characters than they are in insisting that heterosexual people and characters are Seekritly Gay For Each Other. Perhaps this interpretation leaves room for an unspoken threesome between the two men and the girl or woman making the interpretation.

This is fine when such an interpretation is:

a)      Acknowledged for what it is and

b)      Kept on the down-low (sometimes between the interpreter and themselves is best)

It is not fine when the interpreter insists that their interpretation is TOTES REALITY and anyone who disagrees with her is disagreeing because they are a BIG OLE HOMOPHOBE!!!!11!!!!

A person is not a homophobe for disagreeing that Snorkles (a Real People ship between the actors Sneed Snork and Lester Longbottom) is TOTES REALITY and instead thinks that Sneed Snork and Lester Longbottom are simply platonic friends or even just performers on the same program.

TL: DR

It is fine to acknowledge that most TV series and movies are still heavily heteronormative.

It is fine to see a potential homosexual relationship between two characters who are canonically heterosexual.

It is even fine to see a potential romantic and sexual relationship between two characters who are canonically related. These characters are not real people.

It is not fine to harass a movie or television show’s producers, directors, writers, performers, and even other fans for not agreeing with your interpretation.

It’s okay to see a dynamic between two real people, but since they are real people, it is best to tread carefully and be respectful.

It is not okay to force your interpretation of a sexual relationship on real people simply because you think it would be “hot.”

Homosexuality is a real and valid sexual orientation. Gay people are not on this planet to be fodder for shipper fantasies. They are simply people who are attracted to people of the same sex.

Two men having a physically affectionate relationship does not make them gay. Some people are just physically affectionate by nature. Some people may not be physically affectionate by nature in most cases but are comfortable enough with a given person that they are physically affectionate with that person. Such displays of affection are not signs that the people involved are in a sexual relationship.

There is still a lot of work to be done to resolve the tendency to heteronormativity in mainstream movies and television. There need to be more canonically gay and bisexual characters. I won’t argue with that for a minute. However, insisting that a certain pair of characters need to be in a relationship with each other because that would be hot for representation or else everyone is a big mean homophobic meanie does not help forward this agenda, in fact it holds back progress.

Ship peacefully and respectfully.

The Cheese Hath Grated It 

People Who Can Fuck Off And Die: The Ghouls Who Fetishize the Old, The Sick, and the Dead

They’ve done it again.

The latest nastiness:

“Reblog if you’re in love with someone who’s like 70 years old or dead.”

I am truly not sure why this sort of thing seems “cute” to some people.

Having lost many people in my life, having watched several of them succumb to serious illnesses, having watched people that I love grow old and die, watching people lose their abilities, watching their bodies become a burden, watching some of them lose their ability to remember or reason, I feel that this shit is coming from a twisted, soulless place.

I’m not going to generalize about an entire generation, because doing that would be bullshit. However, it seems that there is certainly a faction of the younger generation who completely lack empathy. Maybe they’re just drawn to the hellsite that is Tumblr, I don’t know. But they really make me feel sad and sick.

Not everyone in their 70s is frail, to be sure. But pretty much everyone in their 70s has health problems.

Of course, these cretins don’t care about that.

And what do you wanna bet they’re looking at 40 plus year old pictures anyway.

I really fucking hate this bullshit.

Here’s my favorite song for when I’m feeling like giving someone a one way ticket to the center of the sun.