Saturday, April 7, 2018

30 Days of De-Objectification: Gay Men



Fandoms have a gay male problem, and it isn’t what you’d expect.
The problem isn’t that fans like people and characters who happen to be gay.
The problem is that said “fans” fetishize the idea of two men having sex.
Further, these “fans” go on to claim that their assertions are true, even in cases where the assertions have been denied, and they claim that anyone who does not follow the same line as thinking is “homophobic.”
Example time!
It’s fine to enjoy Yaoi anime. I’m a great fan of anime, although I’m not the sort who will win at anime trivia. No small portion of the anime I’ve enjoyed has been Yaoi.
I’m not saying it’s bad to find Yaoi erotic. However, when someone is screeching about how an anime was Teh Bestest because it was totes Teh Gayest, they aren’t appreciating the anime for an interesting story or compelling characters.
Similarly, it’s fine if someone sees a dynamic between two canonically straight, same-sex characters. Movies and television continue to have a problem with heteronormativity, and many times the canon straight relationships are, frankly, a bore. They often seem shoehorned in because you’ve got to have X number of fake sex scenes in a given season. Dullsville. I often do something else like check my email or try to bash through a bit of accounting until the fake sex scene is over.
However, it is not fine to claim that Splortgloppy (a ship between the same-sex characters Splort and Gloppy) WILL BE CANNON 3k69!!!!111!! and anyone who doesn’t agree that Splortgloppy should be CANNON is a RAGEING HOMOPHOBE!!!11!!! It is not fine to harass the show’s producers, writers, actors, and the other fans of the show.
It is also not cool to claim that Splortgloppy is Seekritly Cannon because Splort was wearing the Zoot Suit with the Trisexual Colors and Gloppy ate Triffle Truffles when ze usually eats Pansnoodles, while standing in front of a glowing sign which said Muzzleblum, but the Blum part of Muzzleblum was covered up, which means ZOMG, SPLORTGLOPPY IS TOTES CANNON 3K69!!11!!!11
Sexuality is not determined by what a person wears or eats or the music they listen to or the sign they’re standing beside. This is gross stereotyping. Also, not seeing the chemistry in a given ship does not make a person a homophobe. It just means they’re not into that ship. A person does not automatically become a raging homophobe because they aren’t on board with a certain ship.
Then there are the people who decide that nobody can have a close platonic relationship with a person of the same sex. If two people of the same sex are physically affectionate in any way, they are automatically totes banging.
I’m tolerant of a degree of Tinhatting. Some of the nicest people are Tinhats. The problem isn’t Tinhatting itself. The problem happens when people harass the objects of their Tinhat theories. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson (One Direction) have said that people harassing them about their supposed “hidden romance” harmed their real-life friendship, because they became uncomfortable being at all affectionate with one another in public. I think that’s sad. A good friend is a treasure. A person shouldn’t have to be afraid to hug on their friend without a certain fan contingent vehemently insisting that they’re totes banging said friend.
It’s worse when one member of the ship pairing is dead, particularly when they died violently. John Lennon was a real person, not just a handsome dude in a picture on an album cover. He was murdered by a deranged fan. I find shipping him with his former bandmates disrespectful and minimizing of his contributions in life and of his untimely, violent death.
I think that Angus Young has been through so much tragedy that shipping him with anyone besides his real-life wife of close to forty years is incredibly disrespectful. Angus was not in a clandestine seekrit love affair with Brian Johnson. He was not sexually involved with Bon Scott just because they had a physically affectionate relationship. He was certainly not sexually involved with his brother Malcolm, although they were completely personal-space oblivious in one another’s presence. That’s called being soul mates. Most soul mate relationships are platonic. It’s sad when people perceive any degree of physical affection as automatically meaning ZOMG, TOTES BANGING!
I have seen all the above (badly written) ships, and my reaction ranges from massive eyeroll to “what the actual fuck is wrong with you?” Usually I ignore the bullshit. There have been a couple of cases where I reported what I’d read because I felt it was slanderous. I really don’t understand how some people can be so utterly disgusting and without regard for others.
I’m not opposed to Real People Fics when they are done respectfully and when the people being depicted don’t seem to mind speculations about their relationship. Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles don’t seem bothered by the speculations. Other people may not be as comfortable with such. The wishes of the real people involved need to be respected.
I find it interesting that the people who are the most insistent that their interpretation is reality are less interested in actual gay people and characters than they are in insisting that heterosexual people and characters are Seekritly Gay For Each Other. Perhaps this interpretation leaves room for an unspoken threesome between the two men and the girl or woman making the interpretation.
This is fine when such an interpretation is:
a)      Acknowledged for what it is and
b)      Kept on the down-low (sometimes between the interpreter and themselves is best)
It is not fine when the interpreter insists that their interpretation is TOTES REALITY and anyone who disagrees with her is disagreeing because they are a BIG OLE HOMOPHOBE!!!!11!!!!
A person is not a homophobe for disagreeing that Snorkles (a Real People ship between the actors Sneed Snork and Lester Longbottom) is TOTES REALITY and instead thinks that Sneed Snork and Lester Longbottom are simply platonic friends or even just performers on the same program.
TL: DR
It is fine to acknowledge that most TV series and movies are still heavily heteronormative.
It is fine to see a potential homosexual relationship between two characters who are canonically heterosexual.
It is even fine to see a potential romantic and sexual relationship between two characters who are canonically related. These characters are not real people.
It is not fine to harass a movie or television show’s producers, directors, writers, performers, and even other fans for not agreeing with your interpretation.
It’s okay to see a dynamic between two real people, but since they are real people, it is best to tread carefully and be respectful.
It is not okay to force your interpretation of a sexual relationship on real people simply because you think it would be “hot.”
Homosexuality is a real and valid sexual orientation. Gay people are not on this planet to be fodder for shipper fantasies. They are simply people who are attracted to people of the same sex.
Two men having a physically affectionate relationship does not make them gay. Some people are just physically affectionate by nature. Some people may not be physically affectionate by nature in most cases but are comfortable enough with a given person that they are physically affectionate with that person. Such displays of affection are not signs that the people involved are in a sexual relationship.
There is still a lot of work to be done to resolve the tendency to heteronormativity in mainstream movies and television. There need to be more canonically gay and bisexual characters. I won’t argue with that for a minute. However, insisting that a certain pair of characters need to be in a relationship with each other because that would be hot for representation or else everyone is a big mean homophobic meanie does not help forward this agenda, in fact it holds back progress.
Ship peacefully and respectfully.

The Cheese Hath Grated It 




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