Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation: Renga With: Waiting for the Full Moon

Image by Chikai Du from Pixabay

the autumn wind:

thickets and fields also,

Fuha Barrier

© Basho

I look at the turning leaves

see future snow in the clouds

a dandelion

now and then interrupting

the butterfly's dream

© Chiyo-Ni

when I am a butterfly

will I ever dream of you

the thunderstorm having cleared up

the evening sun shines on a tree

where a cicada is chirping 

© Shiki

is there a cool night ahead

or restless humidity

simply trust:

do not also the petals flutter down,

just like that?

© Issa

I have never been the kind

to simply go with the flow

in nooks and corners

cold remains:

flowers of the plum

© Buson

promise of warmer weather

pleasant till scorching heat comes

ancient warriors ghosts

mists over the foreign highlands -

waiting for the full moon

© Chèvrefeuille

will your troubled soul drift in

for another lifelong fight

~cie~

notes

All the Ageku are belong to me.

Everything else has been credited.

Carpe Diem New Beginnings + Haiku My Heart: Without Beginning

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

all begins somewhere

when one is in the middle

beginning is lost

~cie~

Carpe Diem New Beginnings: Reincarnation Wave

shrouded memories

wash to the shore like a wave

lives unremembered

shrouded memories

creeping up from the dark past

preying on my mind

wash to the shore like a wave

I wish I could float away

forgetting this strife

lives unremembered

hiding in my troubled mind

preparing to spring

~cie~

notes

We were given two Haiku by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016) with which to create a "fusion-ku," and from there, to create a Troiku. Here are Jane's Haiku. My "sleigh" is a Senryu rather than a Haiku, but so it goes.

a huge wave

thundering across the beach

my birthday

sky-clad

the new-born comes wrapped

in previous lives

Carpe Diem Tan Renga Wednesday: Persimmon

Image Source

When I ate a persimmon

The bell rung

The Horyuji temple

sound from another lifetime

calling me to remember

~shiki & cie~

notes

The Hokku was written by Masaoka Shiki (1867-1902). The Ageku was created by me. I do believe that reincarnation is a possibility. I do not reveal this as an invitation to debate, merely as a statement of my thoughts on the matter.

The Cheese Grates It: 30 Days of Haiga 2017 Day 28 + OctPoWriMo 2017 Day 11: Play For Me

Click to Enlarge

Verse and text by The Real Cie

Note:

This image features Malcolm Young doing what he did so well before dementia robbed him of his ability to remember how to do this or to remember who the people he cared about most were.

I hate this damn disease. It makes me sick, sad, and angry.

Even if it seems unrealistic, I have to believe that he either no longer functions through this body (his brother has stated that he isn't in there at all anymore, and I think few people would know better than one's soul mate) or one day he will wake up free of that body and remember everything.

I believe in at least the possibility of some pretty esoteric shit. You're free to believe it or not. It's really no skin off my nose either way.

This man did not deserve what is happening to him. It's horrible and it's wrong. To quote young Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes fame, "it's either mean or it's arbitrary, and either way, it gives me the creeps."

Isn't Calvin middle-aged now?

Even so, you know Hobbes is still with him.

In closing, fuck you Dementia. 

This is why horror movies don't scare me. Real life is far more terrifying.

I hope that we get at least a bit of respite between lives.

Yes, I actually do believe in at least the possibility of reincarnation. You're free to believe the same or not. I'm not here to argue. 

Quoth the barista: "I'm just here to express."

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

The Cheese Grates It: The Brotherly Dynamic of Team Netherworld's Fetch

The Cheese Grates It: 

The Brother Dynamic of Team Netherworld's Serial, Fetch

This post was primarily created for Team Netherworld's currently somewhat neglected Wincest fan fic and general brotherly love blog, Dream About Me Sweet Brother. My Wincest Tumblr is active, but it's primarily serving up reblogs rather than fresh fan fics created by myself and the other members of the Team at this time.

Let me detail for you the reasons why.

We are participating in OctPoWriMo on Team Netherworld's poetry blog, Dark Hearts Love Too. This is a month-long, daily poetry creation marathon, similar to NaNoWriMo but far less odious. 

I'm not trying to dis NaNoWriMo, I fully support what they do and I'm happy to be a cheerleader for any participant who needs one. I just don't like feeling forced to write a certain amount, because fairly quickly in the process, what's coming up is nothing but bile, verbally speaking. I don't end up with a product that I can even begin to work with, so I ain't gonna do it no more!

The VILE Awards are in full swing over at the Rattling Bones Undead Musician Magazine blog! This is RBUMM'S big annual blog-a-thon. While we do post every day during the month of October,  the format is loose. Regardless of what else happens, the event culminates in the choosing of a truly vile music video to win the VILE Award. The contest is run by the Vogon empire. Last year's winner was "Booty" by J-Lo and Iggy Azelea. You can see the caliber of entertainment we're dealing with here. It's a wild and crazy ride.

I'm working five nights a week. I'm finally doing work that I really feel good about as a pediatric home health nurse. However, I'm working five nights a week. Five night weeks tend to catch up with me and run me over. Currently I've got a nasty cold, which I caught from the baby I'm currently working with. I tend to be pretty prone to every infection that comes down the pike when I work five night weeks. However, overall the job is a positive one. You do what you've gotta do.

Next, the project I came here to talk to you about before I went off the rails.

Team Netherworld is involved in working on a serial which we hope to eventually turn into a series of published novels. The story is called Fetch, and we are very proud of it.

So...what does this have to do with the Brother Dynamic?

The main protagonist in Fetch is a middle-aged musician named Gerry Clifford, who is losing his cognitive abilities. Gerry finds that he is being targeted by a malevolent non-corporeal hive mind whose goal is to enslave him, forcing him to use his psychic abilities for evil. Because his physical mind no longer works correctly, Gerry essentially functions as a spirit even though his body is still alive.
During his out of body wanderings, Gerry finds help and comfort with an empathic psychic medium named Pepper Baiij, and a romantic relationship develops between them.

One might think on the surface that the romantic connection between Gerry and Pepper is the primary focus of the story. However, without the profound bond between Gerry and his protective younger brother Paul, the story becomes Gerry and Pepper rescuing each other from various threats and finding excuses to make out. 

The bond between Gerry and Pepper is powerful, and their love is genuine. The bond between Gerry and his children is warm and gentle, and is integral to establishing his personality. He is a very devoted father. However, the key relationship is expressed in the bond between Gerry and Paul. 

Gerry and Pepper need each other. Their bond was established many lifetimes ago and is essential to their happiness. However, Gerry and Paul are essentially two parts of the same soul. 

There is a bit of Yin and Yang to the dynamic between the brothers. Gerry is quiet, introspective, and his life is complicated by his depressive, addictive, and obsessive tendencies. Paul is outgoing, somewhat manic, and overall tends to present as optimistic, countering and balancing the personality of his understated and sometimes melancholy elder brother.

Because of the strong bond between Gerry and Paul, we have to work to insure that Pepper doesn't become an auxiliary character, eventually seeming more annoying than useful. Originally, Pepper was the main protagonist, but Gerry fairly quickly trumped her. This is simply the way the story evolved. It made sense for the focus to be on Gerry, he being the target of the major antagonist and the key figure in a struggle that dates back before the Earth was formed. Paul has always been at Gerry's side, during their various incarnations, often sacrificing himself to save his brother.

As evidenced by the chosen picture, the story was inspired by Malcolm Young and his battle with dementia, and, concurrently, by the close emotional and psychic bond that Malcolm shares with his younger brother, Angus. Malcolm and Angus are a package deal, so Paul was created to reflect the most important relationship in Malcolm's life.
 Both Malcolm and Angus Young have expressed having metaphysical beliefs during interviews over the years. In fact, I found their belief that they continued to have a bond with Bon Scott after his passing beyond the veil heartwarming and inspiring, and it is because of this belief that I continued my own esoteric explorations rather than forcing myself into a belief system which I felt was both fraudulent and destructive to my soul.
Although the creation of the Gerry and Paul Clifford characters was inspired by Malcolm and Angus Young and the dynamic between them, Gerry and Paul are not clones of Malcolm and Angus. There are similarities in both personality and physical appearance, but Gerry and Paul are interpretive sketches rather than photographic duplicates. The characters are a tribute to the people who inspired their creation rather than being exact copies of those people.
If Fetch seems like the kind of story you might enjoy, either because of the dynamic between the characters or because of the metaphysical flavor, feel free to check it out here. Note that the project is in its formative stages. The chapters are not in cohesive order at this time.
I am now going to find a psychic hammer and whack myself over the head. I really need to get more sleep before I go to work tonight.

The Cheese Hath Grated It

British Veteran Recounts D-Day

We need to listen to our war veterans, and yet we don't. The story he recounts is a terrible one, so many lives lost.

War is not a glamorous or an exciting thing. It is a blight on humanity. As long as there are those whose main motivation is greed and power over others, we will have war. As long as we have war, we will continue to repeat the cycle of suffering. And so it goes on.

~Wanda~

If I'm Living on Borrowed Time, Do You Think I'm Gonna Waste My Time Conforming?

Current age: 62 and has no memories of his accomplishments or his family and friends.
Age at onset of dementia: 55 (and fuck you, Universe)

Lewy Body Dementia discovered post-suicide Age: 63

The Real Cie's aunt: probable Lewy Body Dementia, age of diagnosis: 72

Me: Age 49, will be 50 on February 15.

TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE IDEATION

Here's what I'm noticing. This kind of shit seems to be happening in younger and younger people. I'm not a scientist. Nor am I particularly given to believing in conspiracy theories. The Illumin-Naughty seem as likely to exist as the Illuminati, as far as I'm concerned. But I do see a pattern.

I think our world is polluted as fuck, and it's killing us in various and horrible ways. I think all the people succumbing to these shitty forms of dementia have been poisoned by our toxic environment, and it isn't going to get any better anytime soon.

I evidently have a genetic trigger for this shit, and I have been thinking. I may be living on borrowed time. And if I am, I'm going to off myself when I get the diagnosis. I've taken care of people with dementia for all but five years since 1988. I am not putting myself or my son through that shit.

Given that there's a fair possibility that I'm living on borrowed time, do you know what the fuck I'm not going to do?

Care about a bunch of rules set down by a bunch of stodgy, imagination-impaired, heartless, inflexible assholes. 

Believe as I do. Don't believe as I do. I really don't care. But don't fucking tell me how to think and feel. I was never going to conform to your standards anyway. Given that I may only have five or ten years left, I'm going to conform to them even less.

I have an open mind about metaphysical possibilities. I'm not going to close my mind because my beliefs make some people uncomfortable.

I love what and who I love. If you have a problem with that, take a look in the damn mirror as you point your finger at me. Then take a look at the three fingers pointing back at you.

I'm actually not afraid of this possibility. I'm pretty stoic about it. I've had suicide ideation pretty much all my life. I'm not afraid to die. My life hasn't been an easy one. Sometimes I think the easiest thing in the world would be to down a whole bunch of pills with a butt ton of alcohol and just let the world fuck off at last. I'm sick and tired of hearing what a fuckup I am echoing in my damn head all the time.

I'm not doing it today. So don't get your hackles up searching my URL to try and find out where I'm located. This isn't a "right now" suicide note. This is a "if I'm diagnosed with dementia I'm offing myself" note. Because fuck that shit.

So anyway, if I believe in the possibility of ghosts and incarnate people communicating with each other and maybe even becoming friends or falling in love, who the fuck is anyone else to tell me I can't believe that? 

If I believe the personality survives the death of the body, who the fuck is anyone to tell me I can't believe that?

If I believe in an afterlife, but not an afterlife that adheres to some particular set of dogma created by a bunch of stodgy old fucks to control the masses, well, that is what I believe. If it brings you comfort to think of me frying in a fiery pit because of my beliefs, perhaps you're the sick fuck, not me. 

If I believe in reincarnation, how the fuck is that hurting you?

People are always so all-fired hot to tell other people what they should and shouldn't think and feel. I've had it up to here with that shit. None of us knows for sure what happens after we die. My theories are as valid as anyone else's. More to the point, I don't shove them down anybody's throat. 

I guess my point is this. I don't know if I'm living on borrowed time or not, but I damn well could be. Do you think I'm gonna waste that time trying to please anybody by conforming to their particular reality? I can't live your damn reality, nor do I want to. I can only live my own. 

Stop trying to tell other people what to believe, think and feel. As long as what you're doing isn't hurting anybody else, it's nobody's damn business.

One thing I aim to do. When I do get to the other side, whenever that is, I am going to give both of the dudes pictured a great big warm hug, because they both touched my life for the better and both pulled me through when I was a very sad, lonely, and bullied teenager. I wished both of them could be my friends.

I totally shipped "Mork" as my best platonic friend back in the day, and you will never guess which band was Mork's and my favorite. When you're a sad and miserable twelve or thirteen year old, that kind of thing can mean a lot.

When people judge another person's reality based on their own set of experiences, they do the person they're judging a great disservice.

Both Malcolm Young and Robin Williams taught me a lot. The biggest thing they taught me is that having compassion is the most important thing. As neither of them are conventionally attractive, they also taught me that true beauty is in the soul. Not that either of them are ugly, but neither of them would ever be considered "hunky" by any stretch of the imagination.

Both of them struggled with depression and addiction issues. These are certainly things to which I can relate. 

These are beautiful people--truly beautiful people, not Hollywood hyped beautiful on the outside hollow on the inside glamour seeking glory grabbers. If I do end up being one of the many succumbing to the horror of dementia, at least I will know I am in glorious company. I love you Mal, and I love you Robin. And I do not give one single fuck what anyone thinks of that statement.

I guess I've said what I need to say. It pretty well boils down to this. Quit fucking judging. You do not know what another person is going through or what they have been through. Since you haven't experienced their life, you aren't qualified to judge it.

I can't live as if there's no tomorrow, because my Last Day may be here sooner than I ever would have imagined. I have to get what I can done in what time I may have left. I'm not wasting that time conforming to anyone else's bullshit standards.

~Cie~

Cross-posting everywhere because: