Welcome to the February 2016 installment of Crazy Creatives Cheerleading Camp. If you would like to participate, simply leave the URL to your post in the comments. Please visit and encourage other participants.
This blog hop is especially for creative folks who live with mental illness. We know how it is to feel on the outside, like others, even other creatives, simply do not understand what we're going through. We wanted to make a safe space where nobody needs to feel like an outsider.
I wanted to share my own experiences this month. I am an author with a published book. I spent thousands of dollars to publish and promote my work. I never thought I'd become Stephen King level popular, but I learned the hard way that I will never even have a cult following. I gave up on trying to become a professional author and went from striving hopefully if with trepidation to hardly writing at all.
Most people will not have quite the same experience as I did. There is an esoteric component to this, and if you dislike or vehemently disbelieve in such things, I would ask you to stop reading here and find something else to look at instead. Sharing this experience is not easy for me. I do it in case someone may be thinking of doing something similar. If I can save another person the grief I have endured, it will be some consolation for the heartache I experienced.
In 2007, I published a book called Eternal Death I: Lost Beneath The Surface. This book has since been revised at my request by my dear friend and fellow writing sister, Rose LeMort.
My version of the book was a collaboration between myself and another person. This does not sound particularly unusual from the outset. What is unusual is the fact that this person committed suicide in 1991. It is my belief that I collaborated with a person in spirit during the writing of this book.
At the time, I had every intention of creating a series of novels using the characters in this story.
My experiences following the publication of the story were very damaging. While I did end up making contact with some people who were very kind, I also ended up making contact with both obsessive fans of my spectral partner, and with obsessive detractors. I received threats. I received communications containing lurid sexual thoughts regarding said partner.
I quickly learned that I was too sensitive a personality to deal with the repercussions of publishing work containing assertions such as mine.
I will never publish another book as long as I live.
Team Netherworld was created on my behalf, and for that I will always be grateful.
I was not writing at all. I did not write for years following my decision to pull my book from publication and go into seclusion. My friendship with my spectral partner was destroyed. I considered suicide many times.
Being part of Team Netherworld gave me the opportunity to start writing again.
There were no specific criteria for what I had to write or how often. I started out with a fan fic here and there. At this point I also occasionally write poetry or a chapter for one of our four novels in progress.
I write this because I know that there are others out there like me. I know that it's hard to be this way. I know that you probably feel like you don't have anywhere to turn.
I have some advice to save you from the grief I have suffered.
Write your truth, with these caveats.
If you are in communication with a known person in spirit, DO NOT reveal their identity to anyone except the most trusted of people. Give your spectral companion a pen name as well.
If you are a psychic sensitive, you don't need to feel alone. Come to our One Love blog and be among those who understand.
Generally speaking, do not use real people in your work.
That being said, it's okay to pay respect to people who have inspired you. Much of Team Netherworld's work is Cthulhu Mythos based, and we do mention H.P. Lovecraft in the context of his being the troubled genius who published fictionalized works warning people about horrors from beyond the stars. This is our way of paying homage to Lovecraft for creating some of our favorite tales.
After reading my experiences, I hope you will see that you don't need to shy about sharing yours--at least not with us.
My cat just crop-dusted me, which is a sign that I need to beware of running on, as is my tendency. Thus, I will close this chapter of the Crazy Creatives Cheerleading Camp. If I can save one person from the pain I've suffered, I'll feel like less of a failure.
Love,
Lily
