Showing posts with label ableism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ableism. Show all posts

Monday, April 20, 2020

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 20 + April PAD Challenge Day 20: A Gift Wrapped in Horror

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

could it be a gift
exposing social failings
in isolation
not everyone has to work
in external location

~sly has spoken~

image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com



NaPoWriMo Day 20: Write a poem about a gift

April PAD Challenge: Write an isolation poem

notes
I have felt for years that certain jobs could be done remotely. This would both reduce the amount of traffic on the road, resulting in reduced pollution and reduced stress levels, and would allow more disabled people the opportunity to work. I would like to think that maybe some companies will see the proverbial light and continue to have certain jobs be done remotely. I won't hold my breath, because experience says that people are stupid, apathetic, lazy, and generally evil, and I don't trust them to do the right thing.

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Monday, January 13, 2020

About Me Monday: Ornery and Sly: Stop the Bullying and Stigma

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Today isn't FOAD Thursday, but "The Biggest Dickweed" and anyone who supports it can FOAD every day. Please read about and sign the petition to stop this horrible, hateful garbage from being resurrected.

If you're one of these people who are so indoctrinated into diet culture (I was one of those people for 33 years, and it never made me thin, it just made me miserable) that you believe that shaming and bullying large people "for their own good" is a great idea, here are some key points refuting that belief.

This show caused so much harm to the health of contestants and viewers alike by perpetuating weight stigma. Since the show went off the air, we have research related to how weight stigma and yo-yo dieting actually harms people in larger bodies. Additionally, there is research from prior Biggest Loser contestants indicating long term negative effects:

Participants not only gained the weight back due to a slowing of the metabolism but that participants had increased leptin levels that cause extreme hunger: 
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/02/health/biggest-loser-weight-loss.html

From The National Association of Eating Disorders:
“Weight stigma, also known as weight bias or weight-based discrimination, is discrimination or stereotyping based on a person's weight. Weight stigma can increase body dissatisfaction, a leading risk factor in the development of eating disorders.” 
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/weight-stigma

From Abby's Kitchen:
DANGEROUS SECRETS FROM THE BIGGEST LOSER & MY PETITION TO MAKE IT STOP
“A study published in the Journal of Obesity suggested that watching even one episode of the Biggest Loser increased hateful weight bias among viewers! This is particularly concerning to me when there are children watching, as it’s easy to sense and duplicate the disgust for fatness when they see it in their peers or even themselves."
https://www.abbeyskitchen.com/nutrition-dangerous-secrets-biggest-loser-my-petition-make-i/

From Today’s Dietitian:
January 2018 Issue

The Health Impact of Weight Stigma
By Carrie Dennett, MPH, RDN, CD
Today's Dietitian
Vol. 20, No. 1, P. 24

“The health risks of weight discrimination are consistent with the observed effects of racial discrimination.”

Being the target of weight stigma increases the risk of poor mental health outcomes, including depression, anxiety, poor self-esteem, suicidal thoughts and behaviors, and eating disorders. These associations happen regardless of BMI, so it's unlikely that body weight itself is a cause.”

“Harrison says. "The majority of the clients I've treated for disordered eating cite bullying or shaming for their weight by parents, peers, coaches, or health care professionals as the initial trigger for their issues with food."
https://www.todaysdietitian.com/newarchives/0118p24.shtml

My reason for signing the petition is this.

Promotion of size shaming and eating disorders does not equate with "health."

I have had an eating disorder since I was twelve years old. I was not fat at twelve, but I was so terrified of becoming fat that I became bulimic. 

I never felt direct hatred for fat people, but I saw the way that they were bullied and shamed. I was already the target of bullying. I couldn't bear the idea of the bullying being stepped up if I got fat. 

I am fat at this point. Not the "I feel fat" kind of fat. (By the way, "fat" is not a feeling.) I am really, genuinely, truly fat, and yes, I am "that" fat. My size, like everyone's size, results from a combination of factors. The first and most important factor in determining a person's body type is DNA. 

One of the waitresses I worked with at the job I had eighteen years ago was a tall, sturdy young woman. One time in the break room she ended up telling me about her sister, who was bulimic and anorexic. She told her sister: "we're big people. We come from a line of big people. It isn't natural for us to be skinny." 

So, which sister was the "healthier" of the two? The one who accepted the way she was built and went on with her life, or the one who was so obsessed with the idea of becoming thin that she was going to extremes to manipulate her body to a perceived point of acceptable slenderness?

By the way, health is not a measure of personal worth. I am not asking which of these sisters was more worthy of being treated with common decency. They are both worthy of that.

I had a very difficult time during this past holiday season. My feelings of self-worth plummeted to the depths. I ended up starving myself. I also ceased my daily walks. I didn't feel motivated to walk, and I felt as if everyone was staring at me and judging me. Also, walking can be painful for me. No, not because I'm fat. I was fat back when I was waitressing. I was fat when I was working as a nursing assistant and later as a nurse. These jobs contributed to the spinal problems I now have. So did engaging in behaviors consistent with orthorexia, such as spending five hours a day at the gym on my days off from work. My size did not.

I don't know how people can fathom that it's okay to say whatever they want to a big person. Okay, I actually know how it happens. It happens because larger people have been othered and dehumanized. One of our neighbors saw me having trouble shoveling the snow off the porch. He came over to help. In fairness, he wasn't trying to be cruel, and I think he is in the early stages of dementia. But this is what came to his mind, and what society has led him to think is perfectly okay to say.

"My wife was built like you. She was obese. But at least you're trying. She didn't try, so she died."

If you think that "obese" is a harmless word, think again. Obese is a shaming, othering, dehumanizing word which leads to people being denied proper health care and even basic respect. Obese is a word that kills people.

I'm fat. I'm not stupid. I know when I'm being condescended to. I know when I'm being looked down on. I know when I'm being othered.

Sometimes my bad attitude prevails and I let the middle finger fly and go on about my life.

Sometimes I get broken and relapse into unhealthy behaviors (starving myself) and self-loathing.

I got broken over this holiday season. I starved myself, and I stopped taking my walks because I felt like I was being watched and judged and the walks weren't bringing on the almighty WATE LOOZE!!11!!! Which, of course, is the only thing that matters.

I am getting back in the saddle and charging back into action on my very large horse.

So, if you're one of those people who thinks it's okay to behave badly towards me and others who look like me because we don't fit your criteria of beautiful or fuckable or because we don't fulfill your criteria of perfect "health"...

Let's face it. It's never really about health. 

You may expect that this is where I tell you to FOAD.

Actually, I'm going to ask you to read the words above mine again.

Then I'm going to ask you to go read these blogs.

Big Fat Science
Dances With Fat
Heavyweight Heart

If, after reading those blogs you still think it's fun to ridicule fat people or concern troll fat people or you still think The Biggest Dickweed is good wholesome entertainment for the family...

Then you can fuck off forever.


Fat and Ornery
Image copyright Open Clipart Vectors


Sly and Snarky
Image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com






The last diet you will ever need.
 

Friday, December 20, 2019

Inner Champion Workbook Chapter 5: Take the First Step (Fat Friday Edition)



Disclosure: If you purchase a product through any of the links in this post, I receive a small commission from Amazon.

Fair warning that I am having a dark day despite it being bright and sunny outside. In fact, the bright sunniness makes the inner darkness worse. I hate when people say things like "how can you be depressed when it's so beautiful outside?" Please, if you say that sort of thing to someone who tells you they're feeling depressed, STOP! It doesn't help.

And now, on with the show.

An important goal that I’m going to achieve:

I don't know if this will happen or not, but there is an empty building across the street from my home which is zoned for commercial use. I will be able to access my 401K without penalty at 59, in other words, about four years from now. If the building is still available at that point, I am thinking about investing in it and bringing my idea to life.

"It won't be available then, Cie," you are probably saying. "Real estate goes fast!"

In the city, yes. Not out in the middle of nowhere. The house I'm currently living in had been empty since 2013.

"Well, what the hell do you think you're going to do with a building in the middle of nowhere, Cie?" you say now. 

I am thinking about opening a goat yoga studio.


"Goat yoga?" you sniff. "Who the hell is going to drive to your stupid goat yoga studio in the middle of nowhere?"

As my son observed when I postulated that I could probably pull in a few yuppies from Denver to drive out to Podunk on weekends for a goat yoga session:

"Denver? You mean Boulder."

He's right.

"Oh, and are you going to teach yoga, you disabled lardass? Who would want to take a class from you?"

No, I'm not, because I don't know the first thing about teaching yoga. I plan to put out a call for volunteer instructors, who would be allowed to record their sessions, pass out business cards, recruit people to sign up for their regular classes, and have a tip jar available.

By the way, a big rule at my studio will be this:

NO BODY SHAMING!

No fat-shaming.

No thin praising.

No encouragement of weight loss. No selling weight loss programs.

I want to provide an encouraging environment for every body. I want my studio to operate with a Health at Every Size (and every ability) approach.

Why this goal is important to me:
Most yoga classes shame larger students, behaving as if a literal monster just walked into the room when a big person comes in. It is also difficult for disabled students to find a class. I want the classes at my studio to encourage EVERY BODY, regardless of size or physical ability.

Image by filinecek from Pixabay

Why goat yoga?

Well, for those who have never heard of it, goat yoga is actually a thing. The presence of the goats is shown to have a calming and encouraging effect on those participating in the class. The goats won't have to learn the yoga poses. They'll be free to wander in and out of the classroom. And if a participant spends the entire session just playing with the goats, that's perfectly fine! Basically, the goats are therapy animals.

What has been preventing me from taking the first step?
Lack of access to funds.

How can I remove these obstacles or work around them?
Currently, I'm just waiting for four years and hoping nobody buys the place in the meantime. I also have a potential secondary site in mind.

The first step I am going to take toward achieving my goal:
I am currently making micro-investments with my small and undependable pay. I am hoping these will start generating passive income. I am also trying to promote my freelance literary services, as well as continuing to do reviews. I am going to apply to Kirkus Reviews at the beginning of next year in the hopes of bringing in another income stream.

For support and accountability, I am going to share my goal with:
My son knows, and now you all do too.

I feel better after writing this post. Sending positive energy to Lauren for the gift of her workbook, to Linda for the gift of Health at Every Size which helped me break out of the diet mindset almost 10 years ago, and to Caroline for the encouragement not to fall back into that limiting mindset.

Here are a couple more books to help you say FUCK YOU to diet culture and instead concentrate on REAL health, both mental and physical.


Monday, September 2, 2019

About Cie Monday + Inspire Me Monday #241+ Promote Yourself Monday + Carpe Diem Acts of Devotion 2019: Adam's Peak


I can only dream
of walking up Adam's Peak
body compromised

~Cie~


Notes:
Once we are fully moved into our new home, I would like to begin practicing remote viewing again. I will also be taking daily walks to the park and hope to increase my endurance enough to be able to walk from one end of the main street to the other. Grover is a very small town, so I don't want you-all thinking: "Wow, Cie, impressive goal walking twenty miles!" 
I would also like to rehabilitate myself to the point where I can walk up a set of stairs without having to pull myself up using the banister or to lean against an opposite wall to support myself. However, one thing I need to avoid is making this a shame-based goal, i.e. calling myself a loser because I need to support myself to climb stairs. We are taught from the time we are very young that it is shameful to be in a lesser state of physical ability than a competition class athlete, and I'm not being particularly hyperbolic when I say this. It's horrible.
Your physical abilities and disabilities are not a marker of success or worthiness. They are simply conditions that exist.
With physical therapy, I was able to bring my left arm back to a state of functionality where I'm not in constant debilitating pain. I still don't have the full range of motion in the arm. I am not a better person for having an arm that functions reasonably well than I was when I had an arm that I could barely use, and having an arm that was fully functional and had normal sensations would not make me a better person than I am now.
Physical ability is not a hallmark of greater worth, and physical disability is not something that people should be punished for.


Visit us at www.goodstufffromgrover.com. We're nearly there! The moving truck comes Friday!



Monday, February 11, 2019

Inspire Me Monday #214: Get Angry


Can I inspire you to be angry today?
It's hard for me to type a post about anger without using salty language, but I'm going to keep it clean.
Can I inspire you to open your eyes and see that things just aren't right?
Can I inspire you to see that it isn't right that people should be forced to sleep on the street?
Can I inspire you to face the fact that those people don't "deserve" this?
Can I inspire you to understand that it isn't right for people in the lower classes to be unable to afford decent housing?
Can I inspire you to see that it's wrong for people with disabilities to have to choose between eating and having medical care and being able to earn a living wage?
Can I inspire you to see that it's madness for people to have to be in debt for years for trying to better themselves by getting a higher education?
That it's madness that most higher-paying jobs require higher education but that education is out of reach for the poor?
Can I inspire you to realize that a society of haves and have-nots benefits no-one but those in the highest positions?
Can I inspire you to realize that the only thing "trickling down" is a word that I can't use in a "family friendly" post?
Can I inspire you to understand that the homeless are not "just lazy," that the poor are not "just stupid," that the "welfare queen" is a myth, that only a very small percentage of people attempt to defraud the welfare system?
Can I inspire you to see that very vulnerable people are falling into the cracks and have nowhere to turn for help?
Do you know that many elderly people live in poverty?
Do you know that many single parents live in poverty?
Can you see that there are a lot of people who used to work a "good job" but now need assistance, that the help is not there, that they didn't suddenly become "lazy" and "shiftless?"
Can I inspire you to realize that people with substance addiction issues deserve help, not jail?
Can I inspire you to understand that mental illness is not "laziness"?
Can I inspire you to understand that everyone deserves adequate food, shelter, medical care, and education?
Can I inspire you to understand that service workers are not "lesser" and do not deserve to be stuck working multiple jobs to make less than a living wage?
Can I inspire you to be angry today?
Because until we all get angry enough, nothing is ever going to change.
If nothing changes, things are only going to get worse for all but the wealthiest one percent.
I hope that I can inspire you today.

~cie~




Thursday, February 7, 2019

Living Disabled in the Reactionary Empire


The following text is a reaction to this post. The response comes from The Real Cie's politically-minded alter-ego, Sly Fawkes.

Truth be told, the writing part of my life is okay. I'm a fairly prolific writer. I don't promise that it's all (or even that any of it is) bestseller material but I do a lot of it!
The rest of my life is kind of a steaming pile of suck. Being disabled in the United States is not fun at all. I'm not going to hit my political soapbox too hard, but I made less than ten thousand dollars last year, and while I do have Medicaid (and I live in fear that the critters in power will take that away) I do not get SNAP, which I absolutely need. Being food insecure is far from fun.
I would love to force the critters in power to have to live on $1100 a month (or less, if I have a bad month) for a year, no bailouts, no help from family or friends. Just that amount. Have fun with that, boys and girls!
I write about my thoughts on sociopolitical issues a lot more often than I'd like to. I  prefer writing fiction, but the truth is scarier!

~Sly Has Spoken~

Image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Deep Thoughts With Cheesy and Barack


I wish there wasn't so much onus placed on being perfectly healthy. Nobody's perfect. Everyone has shit that goes awry, even those people who have supposedly "perfect" bodies. For instance, my cholesterol readings are actually stellar. You could frame that shit and put a blue ribbon next to it. But my endocrine system is a fucked-up mess, and my triglycerides are elevated. 
None of this shit says anything about my mind, my soul, my work ethic, my devotion, or anything else that I think is truly important. But a lot of people act like shit like blood sugar levels, abnormal labs, or a number on a scale defines a person on a moral level. It doesn't and can't.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~



Friday, April 20, 2018

30 Days of De-Objectification: Teen Idols

Click to Enlarge
Photoshop creation by The Real Cie

30 Days of De-Objectification:
Teen Idols

It’s hard to think of instances where being a teen idol helped a performer without harming them in some way. I can think of far more instances where “teen idol” status was destructive and, in some cases, deadly for those upon whom it was bestowed.
It is the nature of young people to be hopeful and eager to please. These qualities render them easily victimized by unscrupulous individuals who, in fact, care nothing about their well-being.
People who were child stars and/or teen idols either depart show business entirely once their heyday is over, or they spiral down. It is unfortunate that the public tends to laugh at the misfortune of these fallen stars rather than to feel sympathy for them. Schadenfraude is ugly.
Off the top of my head, I can think of a couple people who came away from child or teen stardom unscathed. The first is Shirley Temple. She left show business.
The second is Shaun Cassidy. Shaun saw what the star-maker machine did to his older brother David, and he didn’t take his own teen idol status terribly seriously. In one interview, he revealed that he always preferred being behind the camera to being in front of it. Shaun’s sensible approach as well as support and guidance from David and his mother, Shirley Jones, helped ensure that he came through the teen idol experience unscathed.
Unlike Shaun, David’s life was troubled. He never enjoyed the pretty boy pop star persona created by his management team. Backstage, he would often play songs like “Voodoo Child.” He was interested in performing harder rock music, but, thanks to his teen idol status, he was never taken seriously as a musician. Throughout his life, David struggled with addiction and had trouble maintaining relationships.
“The Two Coreys” are another example of the destructive nature of the way child and teen stars are treated. Corey Feldman is alive, but he is hardly unscathed. He realizes that he is the butt of jokes. He has stated that he doesn’t consider the assaults he endured (groping and lewd suggestions) to be as severe as those endured by his late friend, Corey Haim, who was raped.
Corey Feldman is a sweet if somewhat eccentric personality. It would be shameful to ridicule him in any case, but, considering the abuses and losses he’s endured, it is doubly so.
Brittney Spears is thriving at this point in her life, but that wasn’t always the case. Exploited at a young age, the pressure to maintain a “sexy” persona and flawless physique eventually caused her to have a psychological breakdown. Fortunately, Brittney received positive support and is doing well. I applaud her for publishing the unretouched photos from the Candies shoe campaign she modeled for. I’m glad she’s still here.
When I see someone like Justin Bieber acting out, I may feel on one hand that he’s making himself look foolish, but, on the other hand, I understand why he is behaving as he is. A lot of pressure is put on people like Justin to be the image that was created for them. People want Justin Bieber to continue to be the cute, mop-topped teenager that he was when he was discovered, even though he is now in his mid-twenties.
It is one thing to expect people to behave civilly. It is another to ridicule people, set them up for failure, and then expect them to behave normally. Someone like Justin Bieber hasn’t had a normal existence in a long time.
As the late Carrie Fisher said, youth and beauty are not accomplishments, they are accidents of time and DNA. It is high time that society ceased behaving as if youth and beauty are the highest of accomplishments. Beauty is subjective, and youth always fades, unless a life ends prematurely.
We need to be kinder to one another as a whole, and we need to stop perpetuating the attitude of exploiting and burning out teen and child performers.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~




Friday, March 16, 2018

The Cheese Grates It: Aim For the Right Target


 CONTENT WARNING:
Self harm
Suicide ideation

Recently, Gal Gadot expressed this sentiment regarding the death of physicist Stephen Hawking:
"Rest in peace Dr. Hawking. Now you're free of any physical constraints.. Your brilliance and wisdom will be cherished forever."
Ms. Gadot was then taken to task as if she'd said "fucken cripples shud ride the lightnin lol."
There is some lack of awareness in Ms. Gadot's comment, but she was not implying that having handicaps/disabilities/whatever the fuck you want to call it made a person lesser in any way.
I am a person with disabilities, and I was once taken to task for using the term "handicapped" to describe myself.
Could we all please just stop looking for reasons to be offended? It makes us look like "special snowflakes" and makes people less inclined to listen to the serious concerns we have. 
For an able-bodied person like Gal Gadot, the idea of being severely physically constrained is a frightening one. Although Dr. Hawking expressed acceptance of his condition, it is hard for a person without severe physical limitations to imagine that a person with such limitations might not be wishing that they could be able-bodied, that perhaps they are truly okay just as they are. 
Again, Ms. Gadot was not stating that Dr. Hawking wasn't worthwhile exactly as he was. She was expressing a wish for him to be able to move about freely, an attribute which she sees as precious. There was no malice intended in her words, and people need to back the fuck off. In our current call-out culture where a person can be viciously attacked for not expressing their thoughts in a very exacting way, it's no wonder people are afraid to speak at all.
Every person with disabilities views their particular disability (or disabilities) differently as well, and there are some disabilities that are so truly heinous that I feel it would be cruel not to wish that the person could be free of said disability--not because the person isn't worthwhile as they are, but because the disability is SO FUCKING HEINOUS. I don't believe this is a hard concept to grasp, but I will not be surprised if there are those who tell me I have "internalized ableism."
Other than a bit of a limp and a slow gait, my disabilities are invisible. I am prone to activity intolerance due to my endocrine problems. I used to be able to work strenuous physical jobs. I lost a reasonably well-paying job due to these issues, and I now live in poverty. I also have problems with urinary retention and have to use incontinence pads. I generally don't have fecal incontinence, but sometimes that happens too. It's miserable and embarrassing. I am prone to infections in my "plumbing." Most of the time I only eat one or two meals a day because I can't afford food, thanks to the fact that it's hard for me to work. 
Would I give up my physical disabilities if there were a way to repair them?
Fuck yes I would, in a heartbeat. 
This in no way means that I think people with physical disabilities don't deserve to be treated with the same respect and dignity that able-bodied people receive. Society as a whole has a problem with treating disabled people as lesser, and that needs to stop. 
People with disabilities should not be forced to live in poverty. My situation often makes me extremely depressed and, yes, suicidal. I currently have self-inflicted cuts and bruises because I am so frustrated and disgusted at my situation and at myself. When I express frustration or upset over my situation, I get told that I should "just focus on the positives," "chin up," and "try harder." All of which is bullshit and is not resolving the problem of people with disabilities being treated as if they are a burden.
This is not what Gal Gadot was doing.
I am far more offended by those who act like people with disabilities are lesser and a burden who should just sink into squalor and die than I am by someone like Gal Gadot, whose statement may have been a tad uninformed, but who was, in fact, hoping that a person who lived with physical constraints unimaginable to a young, healthy, able-bodied person would be free of those constraints. Her statement was without malice. She does not deserve to be attacked.
Save your ire for those who really deserve it: the people who make laws to take away what little those of us who can't work "normal" jobs are afforded.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~