Carpe Diem #1779 Cliffs of Moher ... a tribute to Jane Reichhold (monody, Senryu)

Image source

in that last moment

I hope that you were at peace

may you now fly free

~Cie~

Notes:

I was previously unaware that Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016) had committed suicide because the pain of her fibromyalgia had become unbearable. Please click the Fishy banner to find out more about Jane's story.

We will never learn how to reduce the rate of suicide if it is a stigmatized, taboo subject. If people are afraid or ashamed to discuss suicide ideation, then their struggles will remain internalized. The ways that suicide ideation and attempted suicide are currently handled are ineffective and the unthinking and unfeeling diatribe that the surviving family members of a person who committed suicide are subject to are simply shameful.

Any time a celebrity commits suicide, there's always someone sanctimoniously spouting about how "selfish" this person was, and I want to take them aside and shake them and shout: "Hello, you insensitive twit! Did it never occur to you in your moment of self-righteousness to realize that anyone listening to you could have a loved one who took their own life? How dare you be so thoughtless!"

When I was in high school, I had a friend whose brother had committed suicide when she was eight years old. She said that people would come up to her on the playground and tell her that her brother was in hell for what he'd done. I say there ought to be a special spit in hell reserved for mealy-mouthed marshmallows who make such unkind assertions.

I leave you now with this banner that I use as my Facebook avatar anytime a celebrity takes their own life because I just know that the ignorant spoutings are going to elevate at such times.

Carpe Diem Summer Challenge 2019: Shadow

Photographer unknown

I

blue autumn skies

folded into mountains

purple shadow

blue autumn skies

stretching endless before me

skies blue like your eyes

folded into mountains

a felled giant lies sleeping

dreaming of the past

purple shadow

falls over eyes which can't cry

I have seen too much

Jane & Cie

II

such a hot day

my shadow needs to cool down

under the willow

such a hot day

sun beats down unrelenting

upon troubled earth

my shadow needs to cool down

it steals away and leaves me

muscles wracked with pain

under the willow

I find trouble waiting there

in the form of thought

Kyoshi & Cie

Note:

The "sleigh" of the first Troiku was created by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016). The "sleigh" of the second Troiku was created by Kyoshi Takahama (1874 - 1958). I wrangled all the horses.

I have chronic, widespread, low-grade pain from fibromyalgia and am constantly hot and easily fatigued due to my various endocrine problems. The summer is not my friend.

Grover and Clem aren't bothered by this weather, seeing as Grover is a ghost and Clem is a mutant Cactus Man, or maybe a Man Cactus.

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Visit Grover and Clem and follow the Grover Hotel renovations at the Good Stuff from Grover blog!

The Cheese Grates It: Self Care? WTF Is That?

In a recent post on his blog, Douglas Cootey, who lives with adult ADHD, talks about the times he finds himself applying his ADHD coping strategies when he is sick, and about signs that one needs to take a break and focus on taking care of themselves.
http://douglascootey.com/2017/01/i-cant-get-rid-of-adhd-by-blowing-my.html
This is some great advice from Douglas. Recently I have fallen asleep twice while sitting up in a chair and don't remember doing so. Both my bipolar disorder and my fibromyalgia put me at extra risk for a severe depressive episode with all the extra hours I've been working. Unfortunately, for me there is no choice to rest, though, or I'll get behind on my bills.
I'm crap at taking care of myself, in any case. I put everyone else's needs first. I work until I'm ready to drop. I end up eating a lot of fast food sometimes. I don't have a working stove at my place, and cooking for just myself is aggravating, particularly since I'm currently working five twelve hour night shifts. I get mad at myself when I get tired and my brain works about as well as if someone took the lid off my skull and used my hollow head to relieve themselves.
I don't mind working hard. I don't even mind not having much to show for it. I do feel frustrated that no matter how hard I work, I still feel like I'm lazy because there is so much else to be done. The little kid in me who always heard criticism is still looking for praise. I'm trying to not be as harsh with her as I used to be, but the real truth is, you're never going to get the praise you want and nobody actually gives a fuck. Give it up and go to sleep the way most people's child selves have. I'm in no position to deal with you.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

Let's Get Physical: Your Hostess With The Mostest (Bullshit Physical Problems, That Is)

I'm Cie, and I'll be 52 in February. I've felt tired for as long as I can remember.
My fibromyalgia manifests as chronic widespread low-grade pain, so it's not unbearable.
I can work. However, if I do physically punishing work, I am in pain for twice as long as a normal person. If I overwork myself, I'll end up in a severe state of depression.
I also think I got stuck with a third rate endocrine system. I have hypothyroidism, PCOS, and type 2 diabetes.
I also have type 2 bipolar disorder. Honestly, I don't know what normal feels like. I haven't felt normal since I was a young child.
That's the physical aspect of me in a nutshell. What you see is what you get. Don't like it, don't look at it.

~Cie~