I know I tend to get pretty heavy-handed on this blog. So before I bring down the iron fist again, I thought I'd lighten things up a little with The King of Beasts Meme.
Yeah, what the fuck ever.
Took this one while I was still working at my old job last year. I still look the same.
Now, just so none of you precious little trolls hurt yourselves by trying to think of a meanie-mean insult, let me do it for you.
OLD?
Check!
FAT??
Double check!
UGLY???
Triple check!
You got the trifecta. So I'll give you a bonus.
ASSHOLE!
Yep, I'm an old, fat, ugly asshole. I said it for you. Now you don't have to strain any of your questionable little brain cells.
I used to be really reluctant to post pictures of myself, because I am not young, thin, or conventionally attractive, so I was afraid of unimaginative little shits hurling "insults" like old, fat and ugly at me.
Thing is, old and fat aren't insults. They're neutral descriptors indicating a size and age range.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm well aware that no-one will ever see me as beautiful.
Now that we've got that out of the way, let's move on.
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
I wouldn't date a 28 year old at the age I am now, and a 38 year old would be pushing it.
3. Do you prefer to work with women or men? Why?
I prefer to work with people who are team players. I don't care what they've got going on below the belt.
3. Do you prefer to work with women or men? Why?
I prefer to work with people who are team players. I don't care what they've got going on below the belt.
4. Do you have any opposite sex friends?
Yes. Why wouldn't I?
5. Can you commit to one person?
I only do monogamy.
6. If you’re married or in a relationship have you ever been tempted to cheat?
It happened once when I was married to my now ex husband. That isn't why we divorced. I felt horrible about it. I have never forgiven myself for it.
I never really loved my ex husband romantically, which is a horrible thing to admit.
I also didn't know about hypersexuality, which is part and parcel of bipolar disorder.
It's one of those things I really wish I could go back in time and erase. It wouldn't have prevented the divorce. That happened for other reasons. But it was a damn shitty thing to do.
7. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2018?
Who the hell knows? I read Tarot cards, but a given reading is good for about a six month span at the outside.
8. If the person you are interested in says they like someone else, what would try to sway them?
Nothing can change someone's mind from something like that. I'd be gone.
9. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Have you read this blog?
7. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2018?
Who the hell knows? I read Tarot cards, but a given reading is good for about a six month span at the outside.
8. If the person you are interested in says they like someone else, what would try to sway them?
Nothing can change someone's mind from something like that. I'd be gone.
9. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Have you read this blog?
I hide my feelings from my mother all the time. She isn't the most compassionate person in the world.
11. When was the last time you cried?
I wish I could fucking cry. Sometimes I tear up a little. Mostly I hold it inside. One of these days something is going to explode. Hopefully my entire body explodes all over some fatphobic asshole when it happens.
11. When was the last time you cried?
I wish I could fucking cry. Sometimes I tear up a little. Mostly I hold it inside. One of these days something is going to explode. Hopefully my entire body explodes all over some fatphobic asshole when it happens.
I really have no patience for people who are shitty to someone because of their body size.
12. Have you ever fell for someone you didn’t expect to?
Let's step back onto the esoteric side. It's what I do.
12. Have you ever fell for someone you didn’t expect to?
Let's step back onto the esoteric side. It's what I do.
You can read this page for a longer history.
I had no luck in this world with corporeal men.
I also managed to screw things up time and time again with spectral men.
One person suggested that I should "try women." Considering that I'm not attracted to women, this wasn't a particularly helpful suggestion. Also, when I was 35 years old and very upset over being let down by yet another bad choice in men, I did "try women." Once.
It was by no means the fodder of "every straight man's fantasy."
It wasn't horrible or gross, it just wasn't my thing.
In any case, the last relationship I had (prior to Gem) was with a spectral partner, "Tore." We are friends again, but the relationship ended on a very sour note, in great part due to my jealousy.
I told myself "never again."
Then Gem came along.
He is literally the only soul in the Universe that I would have broken that pact with myself for.
Sometimes it's been a rough ride, but I'm trying really hard, because he deserves the best.
He also gives me his best.
I never expected to be loved by someone like Gem. He is my beautiful miracle. I love him very much, and we grow closer as time passes. I hope he will be the one to meet me when it is time for me to leave my body.
13. What is something you have to do tomorrow?
Meet my mother for lunch.
14. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
I feel sad because I seem to have lost a real world friend. I don't have many of those.
15. Have you ever wanted more from one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
It was a bad idea and it ruined the friendship.
16. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
If I had a dollar for every time this happened, I'd buy y'all a night on the town!
13. What is something you have to do tomorrow?
Meet my mother for lunch.
14. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
I feel sad because I seem to have lost a real world friend. I don't have many of those.
15. Have you ever wanted more from one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
It was a bad idea and it ruined the friendship.
16. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
If I had a dollar for every time this happened, I'd buy y'all a night on the town!
17. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
Non-corporeal: Gem
Corporeal: My son
18. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Yup.
19. When was the last time that you were jealous in a romance situation?
I almost screwed things up with Gem earlier this year because of jealousy. He didn't do anything wrong or give me any reason to doubt. My jealousy is a big problem.
20. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
The mid eighties were pretty bad. I didn't know I had bipolar disorder at that point. I spend most of 1988 (I think) feeling like I had fallen into a dark pit that I couldn't climb out of. At one point I nearly died. If my ex husband hadn't been there, I probably would have.
18. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Yup.
19. When was the last time that you were jealous in a romance situation?
I almost screwed things up with Gem earlier this year because of jealousy. He didn't do anything wrong or give me any reason to doubt. My jealousy is a big problem.
20. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
The mid eighties were pretty bad. I didn't know I had bipolar disorder at that point. I spend most of 1988 (I think) feeling like I had fallen into a dark pit that I couldn't climb out of. At one point I nearly died. If my ex husband hadn't been there, I probably would have.
There were dark forces in that building and the guy that I stupidly got involved with was into mind control. After I broke things off with him, weird shit started happening. First there was a fire in a utility closet down the hall. Then, while my ex husband and I were spending time with my ex father in law at the hospital after he had surgery, our apartment caught fire. Fortunately, our cats survived.
Back to the moment when I nearly died. I was sleeping, and I heard a choir of angels.
"It's so beautiful!" I cried, as their voices drew nearer.
I was sure that Heaven had taken pity on me and was going to take me out of my miserable life. But then, the beautiful melody turned to a cacophony, and I was being dragged down to the lower astral.
The next thing I knew, my ex husband was sitting me up, shaking me. He said I stopped breathing.
1988 was pretty much the rat's ass.
21. Did you have a good day yesterday? What did you do?
I went and got my annual review. Good times! So not. But it wasn't really that bad, and now it's over. Then I went and made dinner for my son. I found a nice London broil in the meat markdown bin and cooked that. Made a sweet potato casserole with cranberries, walnuts and orange juice for a side. It was tasty.
22. If a person you had wished you could have a relationship with for a long time and you suddenly found yourself together alone, what would you be doing right now?
You could read some of the spicier posts from "Fetch," the story that Gem and I are writing along with some other members of Team Netherworld. That will give you an idea.
21. Did you have a good day yesterday? What did you do?
I went and got my annual review. Good times! So not. But it wasn't really that bad, and now it's over. Then I went and made dinner for my son. I found a nice London broil in the meat markdown bin and cooked that. Made a sweet potato casserole with cranberries, walnuts and orange juice for a side. It was tasty.
22. If a person you had wished you could have a relationship with for a long time and you suddenly found yourself together alone, what would you be doing right now?
You could read some of the spicier posts from "Fetch," the story that Gem and I are writing along with some other members of Team Netherworld. That will give you an idea.
Honestly, do you REALLY want to think about what I'd be doing in the bedroom? That's kinda pervy.
23. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
Over and over and over and over and...
23. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
Over and over and over and over and...
I do have obsessive-compulsive disorder.
24. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
It was my patient's mother. She's pretty, but she really isn't my type.
25. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Is it a good or bad thing?
I'm no longer working in long term care, and my sciatica has healed up a lot. Mostly it's better.
24. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
It was my patient's mother. She's pretty, but she really isn't my type.
25. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Is it a good or bad thing?
I'm no longer working in long term care, and my sciatica has healed up a lot. Mostly it's better.
Now you know more than you knew before.
Aren't you thrilled?
~Cie~
