This Senryu was partly inspired by the image and partly by the song "In Joy and Sorrow", which was written by my fellow black dog attendant, Ville Valo.
Some people with mood disorders take medications.
Those of us who don't respond well to medications write bleak a.f. poetry.
The Hokku (Haiku) stanza of this Tan Renga was written by Chèvrefeuille. The Akegu (closing) stanza was written by me.
I am not being hyperbolic in any way when I say this. Participating in this exercise has been life-changing for me. Haiku is no longer simply a poetry form for me. It is a way of meditation, a way to improve not only my life but possibly the lives of others as well.
Hi. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Michael Neil Lee, but you can call me Mick. I am a recovering addict and alcoholic, and I believe in angels.
I realize that some of you will think my beliefs are antiquated and unscientific. I believe in science, but I think there are some things that science can't explain. Like angels, for instance.
I know there are some of you who will be like "let us be nice to the fry brain and we will humor his belief in angels" and you will say things like "yes, there are angels here on Earth who help people. Like nurses and doctors and your counselors in rehab."
I don't know about nurses and doctors and my counselors. But yes, I believe in angels in the flesh. My little sister Nicole is a for real earth angel. She believed in me even when I was on rock bottom. She was there for my kids when both me and their mom couldn't be there because of our problems. Even when I was at my worst with meth and heroin and drinking and pills she still loved her big brother and I am sorry for the times I caused her to worry that the next time she would see me is in the morgue. I am crying when I write this so I am sorry if it is not the best writing. Nikki, you are a for real Earth angel. I believe in you.
Nikki's new girlfriend Thalia who she met last year is also an earth Angel. They both thought they would never meet anybody to be in love with, but they met each other. They love their nieces and nephews like they were their own children. They are in love with each other like they thought they could never be with anybody. Also, now I have a new buddy to have (Clean and Sober) fun with and listen to music with and tease and play practical jokes with. To be fair, Tally, you had to know it was a Snake in the Can, but you opened it anyways. I'm still waiting for the payback.
Thalia introduced me to instrumental music like this. I still love my Rock and Metal, always and forever, especially my Crue, in case you can't tell by the picture on my profile. But when I need to relax and to chill out, I listen to this instead of lighting it up or shooting up or drinking, and it's way better. Now my kids know their Dad will be around for them and not dead in an alley or something like that.
Also, my friend Cie who has said to me that I can write and she will help me edit my story, you are also a real Earth Angel. My story is called Earth Angel, and it is inspired by some of the people I met along the way. The Angel in my story is called Katarin. She is a real angel who has lost her way and has been abused so much. I have met so many women who have been abused and used up. One of them had schizophrenia and she had been raped so many times when she was trying to get drugs to forget her pain for awhile. She had abortions and also kids that were taken away. She was homeless. I tried to protect her a little but couldn't always watch over her. One day they found her dead.
I miss you, Karyn. I wish your life could have been better. I thought of you as my Sister, I really did. I wanted to be a good brother to you, the kind you never had. I am sorry I failed you like everyone else.
I believe she has gone back to be with the angels. I do. Even if she was messed up, she had a good soul.
I mean she is gone back to be with the Angels in Heaven. Because I do believe in them.
I know some of you think that is stupid, and it is unscientific, and maybe hypocritical, because I don't go to church. I believe in Heaven and Angels, and I believe in Jesus and that he is good, but I don't believe you have to think he is the Messiah to go to Heaven. I think he loves us all whether we believe he is the Messiah or no. I don't think Christianity is the only religion or the only way to be saved, and I don't think you even have to believe in anything at all to belong in Heaven. I think you only have to be kind and to try your best, and some people don't like that too much and they tell me I can't be saved if I think like that. I don't think they are right.
But I do believe in Angels, and I do believe in Spirits.
I have seen some shit in my life.
When I was a little boy, way before I ever heard about drugs and when I was going to church like a good little boy and believed what I was taught in Sunday School, I met a spirit one day in the attic at my maternal grandparents house. I was three years old and I would go in the attic and it was like a treasure hunt. And that day he was sitting there near the window. He was a boy who was older than me but still young, maybe like seven years old, and he was quiet and didn't talk, but he was nice and he smiled at me, and I stayed there with him until he faded away. I always thought it was about 20 minutes but It's hard to tell, it could have been more or less. I was never afraid of him. I never saw him again. But I always remember him. I didn't say anything to anyone because even that young I knew they would tell me to stop telling tales. I only told Nikki a lot of years later when she was 18 and I was 20, and she punched me in the arm for keeping such a cool secret to myself all that time. I told her it was fair though, because she didn't tell me she liked girls until about that same time, and we could have been liking girls together all that time but I didn't even know it!
So I believe in Angels and I believe in Spirits. And maybe some of you think that's pretty stupid. And maybe some of you think it means I am going to hell. I don't think so either way. I think there is stuff that Science doesn't understand and I don't think that too many people go to Hell.
So this is my story about me, and sort of an introduction to the story I hope to write. Thank you for listening and for your support. This is the first time I have really told my story, and I am kind of nervous for it.
A rare Hellbender Salamander, killed when a rock from a makeshift cairn fell on her
30 Days of De-Objectification:
Untouched
So, you’re hiking along in pristine wilderness, far from
civilization and mostly untouched by human hands, as it should be. The natural
thing to do in this setting is to start picking up rocks and stacking them on
top of each other.
Wait…what???
Seriously, though. Not even kidding.
Some people decided that the only way for them to truly
appreciate nature is to make rock cairns.
“It’s how I meditaaaaaaaaate!!111!!!” they bleat.
Odd, isn’t it, that many people meditate, but most of them don’t
feel they MUST disturb ecosystems to do so.
This, my friends, is called entitlement.
These lower colons on legs feel that their “attunement with
Nature” is more important than nature itself.
And, yes, this is a form of objectification.
In the eyes of these wastes of oxygen, nature is not
something to be respected; nature is their bitch. Everything that exists is
there to serve them.
“But muh cairns!!!1!!!”
Shut up, you gasbag.
I would trade every fuckwit who insists on making rockpiles
in the wilderness to bring back the hellbender salamander killed by a falling
rock from one of these unnecessary stacks of rocks.
However, in case you give not one single fuck about nature
(in which case, keep your worthless ass in the city), your shitty behavior also
inconveniences your fellow human.
There are cairns built mindfully by national park employees
to serve as markers.
Entitled park visitors’ cairns not only fuck with the
ecosystem, they are confusing.
Park workers have politely attempted to inform the self-centered
shitheads about why they should not be building cairns. But you know how it is
with entitled fuckwits. They don’t give a shit about anyone or anything except
themselves.
Endangered animals? Inconveniencing people? Who cares? I
need to meditate about how grate I am by stacking rocks, mmmkay!!?? How dare
you tell me that I’m being shitty for doing something shitty? I’m gonna throw a
temper tantrum now!
Entitled assholes exploit, objectify, and act defensive and
butthurt rather than trying to do better.
They don’t seem to understand the concept that some things
are not theirs to own.
Don't believe me that these rock cairns are a problem?
"Why do you create things of beauty only to allow them to be destroyed?" I demanded
"I want to know who is responsible for this!" I declared
I wondered aloud how something so magnificent as this cosmos could come to be
Without even an iota of divine intervention
I decided that it could not
But the creator thereof must long ago have pissed off
To any rate, this is the only thing I can imagine to be true
For as I gazed up into the night sky
At the myriad of stars
I was as alone as ever
Having, as always, no answer to the question
Of why we are born
To suffer
~Opal~
Notes:
Like Ellie yesterday, I deviated from the prompt. The prompt was to create a poem which includes a conversation. Technically, mine does, although it is a one-sided conversation!
