This post is a response to Gail Dines' excellent essay about the patriarchy's fear of women's empowerment and the rise of pornography and suppression of courses such as women's studies in response to that fear.
The fear of truly liberated and empowered women does indeed terrorize those who are caught up in patriarchal beliefs. When I was bound for college in the early 1980's, I was signing up for courses, and one of the courses I signed up for was women's studies. My parents threw a huge fit and demanded that I withdraw from the course. They said that if people heard that I was taking "courses like that" they'd think I was "a dyke" and that I'd be ostracized and have no friends.
I said that if someone thought that I was a lesbian simply because of a class I was taking, or that they would refuse to be friends with someone who was a lesbian, that was not someone I wanted to be friends with.
They then stated that they would refuse to pay for college if I took this course.
Because I didn't have the financial means or the knowledge to pay for college myself, I backed down.
I lasted one semester. I was sexually assaulted early on in the semester, and I knew that because I was drunk at the time my concerns would be dismissed, so I never reported it. When I tried to tell my father what had happened, he asked why I had put myself in a position where I would be vulnerable to such an assault.
I had a nervous breakdown and ended up getting married too young to the one person who treated me with any compassion.
There is some positive outcome to this tale. I am still friends with my ex-husband. We divorced in 1994 but were able to repair our friendship. We had a son together who is now 27, and we are a family. Sadly but understandably, my son cannot stand my mother.
My father passed away near the end of 2010. In spite of his awful reaction to my assault, I hope that no-one will say it's good that he's dead or good that he suffered for many years before dying. He was a good man who had some stupid beliefs and I did love him in spite of these unfortunate ideas.
~The Cheese Hath Grated It~
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