Rage Against

Image by Jesse Dixum +DeviantArt.com 

Locked inside these rotting walls

Trapped in my broken mind

Trying to hold onto something

Anything that matters

With everyone around me telling me

That their way is the better way

With everybody criticizing

What they don't

And can't

And are fortunate not to know

But since you don't know

Don't tell me how

I should think

Or feel

Or be

I have only one choice

That choice is to be what I am

For the rest of this life

I am what you can't be

I am me

Count your blessings that you aren't

And let me be

~Cie~

And with that, I'm probably going to move this sort of thought back over to Crazy Town in Looney Land. It was likely a mistake to combine the mental health stuff with the metaphysical theory, but sometimes the two bleed into each other. As always, I took other people's advice about having too many blogs, need to "simplify," blah blah blah.

Are you OCD plus bipolar plus have psychic input that you're just trying to make sense of? Are you paying me for anything I write? If not, you don't get to tell me how to run my damn ship.

I am in the middle of a rather wretched mixed state, so sue me if I'm being a bitch. You won't get a damn thing out of me as you can't get blood from a stone. 

I'm not going to pretend that I count for a god damn thing on my own merit. I wouldn't even still be here if my son didn't need my help. I'm just trying to get by how I can. So I'm going to categorize things as I see fit, and whoever doesn't like it doesn't have to follow along.

Before you even start to say it, you can shut up about "meds" and "counseling." Meds don't work, other than lithium, which usually works but sometimes shit gets out of balance anyway.

Counseling doesn't work, and I don't have time for it.

I'll go to work, I'll do what I have to do, shit will balance out. In the meantime, if you don't have any sympathetic thoughts, butt the fuck out. I've done this before and will do it again, and again, and again, until this miserable life is over.

I'm pretty sure I know what triggered this. Don't want to talk about it now.

~Cie~