The Cheese Grates It: My Resolution to Minimize Body-Shaming Psychic Attacks

Per my resolution to minimize the amount of toxic, ignorant, psychic attacks negatively impacting my life, I kicked the radio station which had been my primary choice to the curb following an onslaught of weight loss surgery ads and the afternoon DJ making the inane remark that "exercising makes you feel thinner. This is especially true for women." 

I now have the radio in the Forester permanently tuned to the publicly funded jazz station. I have satellite radio in the Fusion, which tends to be on one of the 70's or 80's stations or the Underground Garage. They don't blather on and on about bullshit calculated to offend and shame people with non-optimal appearances: bigger people, older people, women who aren't conventionally attractive.

 It's a huge relief to be able to do my job and have some music to keep me from dying of boredom without some stupid advertisement or idiot remark from one of the DJ's raising my blood pressure multiple times during my shift. I've thought about writing a letter to the radio station, but I doubt it would do any good.  

I hope one day we will have a world where a radio station playing such toxic advertising would be flooded by emails rebuking them. 

People deserve to live their lives without being constantly reminded that they are seen as undesirable thanks to the constant brainwashing by mega-corporations hell-bent on taking their money.

Advertising is usually a form of attack rather than an informative medium.

It's time to stop kowtowing to the Frankenstein monster which was in no small part created by behaviorist John B. Watson. Watson was a bit of a shit in any case. He was unscrupulous in his experimentation on vulnerable subjects. 

We need to learn to think for ourselves rather than allowing advertisers to mold our beliefs.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

Wrung Out

I discovered today that a person who has been causing me trouble, seemingly unwittingly, for the past several months, is, in fact, a psychic vampire. Communicating with her, I felt as if I was looking into a black hole. She is not a misguided and troubled person as I initially convinced myself that she was. I should have gone with my gut, which told me right out of the gate that there was something really amiss with this person. 

Correction: She may be misguided and troubled, but she is also cold and dead inside and doesn't care who she hurts. She is charming outside, and a lot of people fall for her "poor me" act. Dealing with her one on one, it was revealed to me very quickly that she is a sociopath and a psychic vampire.

The sociopath is the polar opposite of the empath. Unfortunately, empaths have a tendency to fall victim to sociopaths. A sociopath can mimic emotions, but they lack empathy. The only emotions they feel are obsession and anger. They do not feel love, although they may use the word a lot and may confuse obsession with love.

Unfortunately, I left myself vulnerable to this person when I attempted to help her. I believed that if I offered her a sympathetic ear, I could redirect her energies from an erroneous pursuit of the love of someone who has no interest in her whatsoever. I thought I could help him and her at the same time.

Quickly, the entire discussion became about her. I felt myself wanting to get away, but for the sake of politeness, I was trapped. After all, how do you say "whoops, you aren't just an unhappy person misdirecting your energies, you're a psychic vampire! I'm gone!"

I discovered that she wasn't trying to catch the object of her obsessions and "make" him fall in love with her. It doesn't matter if he loves her or not. She stated that she "loves" him, but this actually translates to "I'm feeding off his energy and I'm damned if I'm going to stop."

I now need to protect her victim, me, and everyone in both of our spheres of influence. 

I wish I could scream from the rooftops the name of this person and warn everybody away from her. From a psychological standpoint, she is a manipulator and a master gaslighter. 

I can't reveal the entire conversation, but for me, this was the paragraph that screamed to me everything I needed to know about what I was dealing with.

"Although you believe my romantic feelings for "Will" might interfere with the healing energy I'm sending him...you're validating that the love I feel for him is real, and that satisfies me."

 

 This is a paragraph straight from the Sociopath Rule Book. It screams ME, ME, ME.

 

This individual does not actually care about the subject of her "healing support." She is glad that I "validated" the "love" she feels for him. It is all about her. She will keep focusing on him regardless of his desire for her to cease doing so, because she does not care that her energies are detrimental to his well-being.

Sadly, she has several people convinced that her "love" for him is ever so true and pure, and they blindly encourage this "love."

After dealing with this person, I was shaken for most of the day. If I'd had either Valium or alcohol on hand, I would have used them.

I can't believe that I was so gullible as to mistake this walking black hole for a misguided empath.

It can be hard dealing with people who have hot tempers. But I'd rather deal with someone who runs too hot than with someone whose soul is cold and dead any day.

 

~Cie~

Improving

I am doing better. Still not eating very well because I still feel a bit disconnected from the Earth plane. However, the suicide ideation is far less and my connection with Gem is healing. He didn't allow me to "resign" from our bond. He has been very worried about me and has stuck by me, even when I was being verbally abusive to him. I don't want to be like that to him ever again. He in no way deserves it.

Gem was not a perfect person and he carries with him a lot of guilt from his life. He is trying to heal from this. The bond that he and I have formed is something very special, and I need to insure that it is something positive for him. He asked for my help and agreed to help me in return. He needs actual help, not verbal abuse when I'm feeling insecure. 

Gem has a bit of a hot temper, and I turn cold when I feel threatened. Inside, we are both deeply afraid of being betrayed and abandoned.

I've thought of perhaps putting the details of my interactions with Gem on a by invitation only blog. Sometimes I don't write here for feeling insecure about who may be reading.

Gem helped me create two new spells. I need to test them before I share them. I also need to be careful not to reveal the details of my magick until it has had a chance to work.

I recently learned that Gem and I have been the targets of a mostly inadvertent psychic attack. This brought out my insecurities. More specifically, he was the target, but it wasn't intended to be an attack. I was collateral damage. The spells are to help us defend and heal ourselves.

~Cie~

Stoicism Is Not The Same As Acceptance

My son and I appear to be dealing with Lafayette's death well on the surface. We aren't bursting into tears. We're going on with our daily routines. I'm able to put a smile in my voice when I talk on the phone. My mother would be proud of my stoicism.

In reality, we aren't doing well.

My son usually drinks a beer or two every few days. The same two cases of beer sat waiting to be drunk for several months. 

When I visited today, I'm pretty sure in retrospect that he was hung over. We were going to take care of banking. He said "let's do it tomorrow." I asked him if he wanted me to make him anything to eat. He said no, brushed his teeth, and went back to bed.

One case of beer was entirely gone, and the other has only two bottles left.

I can't drink. But I haven't been sleeping well at all, and when I do, I end up on the lower astral. I have been having a lot of problems with sleep paralysis. I have also been having trouble sensing Gem's presence.

Gem and I got a lot of writing done, and there were junctures when I could feel his hand on my back. He said he isn't angry with me at all, but I think I really hurt him when I said that I missed Lafayette so much that I would not only trade all my other cats (whom I do love, but what I had with Lafayette was incredibly special) I would trade the time I've had with Gem, even though it has not only been precious to me, it's been therapeutic.

Gem is very sensitive. He's never felt like he's anybody's number one, and when he felt like he was mine, it made him really happy. I'm very sorry I hurt him and I'm glad he hasn't left me. 

I will never bring any more cats into my life. It's too damn painful.

I'm not sorry Lafayette was here. I just hoped that we'd grow old together. He went away much too soon.

~Cie~

The Century of the Self

 I just purchased this set of videos and may discuss them further once I've had a chance to view them. I chose to post about the concepts on this blog, although I could just have well have posted them on Crazy Town in Looney Land or Sly Fawkes.

I wanted to discuss this kind of brainwashing from the perspective of what it does to a person's soul. Most advertising is a form of psychic attack. Much of it is loud and aggressive. There is an implication that if you are not some sort of perfect being, you are not just ordinary, you are a loser. But you can stop being a loser if only you will utilize certain products.

It's frightening how easy it is to make people buy into these ideas. Many people have ceased to think for themselves. They want someone else to tell them what to do. They want someone to give them a product that will make them eternally beautiful, glamorous, and desirable. They want to have the right products to make them the envy as others. Only if they are wearing the right clothes and driving the right car while talking on the right smart phone can they truly be cool.

In the world of advertising, thinking is not cool.

In order to save ourselves from becoming mindless sheeple, we need to stop worrying about being cool.

Don't do what everybody else does.

Do what is right.

It is better to walk alone than to follow the crowd to your doom.

I haven't had television in my house in over a year. I don't miss being bombarded by ads telling me what a wretch I am one single bit.

~Cie~