Happy holidays, however you may celebrate them. It’s coming up on the season of stupid New Year’s Resolution advertisements. Instead of resolving to make some sort of impossible change to our bodies and hating ourselves when we find it to be impossible because it always is, why don’t we resolve not to be dicks to each other, not to put each other down, not to use appearance based insults? That would be a pretty damn good thing if everyone in the world resolved to quit doing that shit.
Let’s resolve to let others know that it isn’t cool when they do that shit.
Sometimes people are deliberately mean-spirited, but other times they are just being ignorant when they say shit that hurts other people.
I’m a big person, and I can’t count the number of times that someone I considered a personal hero said some crap about bigger people which cut me to the core.
Whether it’s implying that larger people can’t be attractive (sad to say, I’m looking at you, Alice Cooper)
Or implying that fat equates with lazy (unfortunately, I’m looking at you, Brian Johnson)
Or equating weight with health (too many larger heroes and heroines who have said they needed to lose weight “for their health” to count)
Or implying that having a big person in their band/on their TV show/in their movie wouldn’t be prudent (not going to name the person whose statement regarding this really hurt me, as it was many years ago and they had substance abuse issues at the time, but it really hurt to read it as to me this person previously seemed pretty accepting and tolerant and not one to be mean about people’s physical appearance.)
From where I stand, I doubt very much that I’m attractive to anybody.
However, I am not lazy.
My health would be relatively the same regardless of my weight, thanks to my whack endocrine system. Diabetes actually does not discriminate by weight when it comes to who it may eventually kill, usually from problems like kidney failure. Hypothyroidism causes people to gain weight and have difficulty losing it. I’ve had asthma all my life regardless of my size. The thing that may be most likely to kill me is the stress from hating my body. If it doesn’t kill me directly, it may contribute enough to my suicide ideation that I end up being pushed over the edge, because I know damn well I’ll never be thin or pretty.
I don’t think anyone would ever want me in their band, because I suck at all instruments and my voice breaks stuff. However, why the fuck couldn’t I be on a TV show or in a movie? I’m wonderfully hammy. I’d make a pretty cool character actress.
I honestly don’t think any of these people were intentionally trying to hurt anyone. I think they were being ignorant. They aren’t some gross shit weasel like Daniel Tosh, whose very reason for existence is being mean and hateful.
However, I would like to ask everyone to please think about the effects that your words are going to have on others. If there’s no good reason to say them, then don’t.
That would be a good new year’s resolution for everyone to have.
The Cheese Hath Grated It
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