Robert Plant
30 Days of De-Objectification:
Robert Plant
There are so many things that one could say about Robert
Plant. One could talk about how both he and his music keep evolving. One could
note the sadness on his careworn face and wonder if he still thinks every day
of the son he lost to pneumonia at the age of five. One could hark back to his
days with Led Zeppelin and marvel over that legendary troupe of bards’
fantastical range, from epic Tolkien-esque tales to blues-steeped ballads.
There is so much to think of and say and admire when it comes to Robert Plant.
Yet some choose to focus only on the tight pants he wore
during his Zeppelin days and to ship him with Jimmy Page. But of course. It’s
so utterly predictable. Please bring me my barf bucket and cyanide capsules. I
beg of you, do not ask me to discuss the MPREG. Sadly, there is not enough
brain bleach in the Universe to eradicate that vile memory from my poor brain.
I only read the first paragraph, and that was enough to scar me for life.
I remember watching The Song Remains the Same at the
midnight movies. It was over-the-top magical. I wanted to make music like that.
Sadly, I have all the musical talent of dryer lint.
My lack of musical talent notwithstanding, I have long
admired Robert Plant, both with Led Zeppelin and on his own. Led Zeppelin’s
music inspired me in the creation of my own fantasy worlds and helped carry me
for a time above my problems. Robert’s music beyond Led Zeppelin has helped me
do the same. I love him for it.
Robert is not a perfect person. He doesn’t seem exactly
prone to being faithful and, from what I’ve read, he can be a bit of a diva. He
does, however, seem to be a good father, and he cares about the environment.
Those are certainly things I can admire.
Regarding Robert’s presentation when he was with Led
Zeppelin, he has this to say:
“I can't take my whole persona as a singer back then very
seriously. It's not some great work of beauty and love to be a rock-and-roll
singer. So, I got a few moves from Elvis and one or two from Sonny Boy
Williamson II and Howlin' Wolf and threw them all together.”
One of the oddest awards Robert received was the Rock Scene
Magazine "Chest O Rama". Readers of the magazine had to decide who
had the best chest in rock and Plant was declared the winner. When they
contacted him about it, he replied: "I'm really greatly honoured, although
it's hard for me to be eloquent on the subject of my chest."
(Source: Wikipedia)
Robert was and is an attractive man. I’ve always thought so.
However, there is so much more to him than his physical appearance. I was
compelled to collect Led Zeppelin albums, to learn more about the band, and,
when the opportunity arose, to go see The Song Remains the Same in the theater.
Sadly, I never had the opportunity to see Led Zeppelin in concert. I hope I can
see Robert in concert someday, likely without the other surviving members of
Led Zeppelin, as he seems to have no interest in any sort of reunion.
What I never considered doing was writing smutty fics about
Robert Plant and Jimmy Page doing the nasty. Even when I was young and horny
and not exactly full of good sense, I would have felt that doing such a thing
was rather a slap in the face to my heroes.
I often find myself wondering what the hell happened to
basic respect and common decency.
I’m honestly not The Church Lady. I can and do appreciate a
good smutty fan fic—when it’s about fictional characters, not real people who
would no doubt be horrified by having scenarios written about them poinking
their friends and fellow tunesmiths.
~The Cheese Hath Grated It~
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